http://www.happyrelationships.com

If you’re one of the many psychologists churning out relationships books today, you’ll want to steer clear of marriage maestro Tim Kellis.

Kellis, an author himself and a radio talk show host, might just tell you where to get off. He feels strongly that too many psychologists are clueless about helping couples stay married. In fact, he believes they’re contributing to the divorce debacle.

Our culture of divorce is spiraling out of control like the price of fuel at the pump, he laments. A whole divorce industry has sprung up
cheering couples on to disengage and go their separate merry ways, but divorce is far from a “happy ending.”

“This tragic trend can easily reverse if couples would follow my advice,” says Kellis, a one-time Wall Street analyst who brings his
analytical skills and common sense mindset to what has become his crusade to save marriage.

Far from helping to bring down the 50% divorce rate, psychologist authors led by charming pied pipers like Dr. Phil may be actually
exacerbating it, charges Kellis, who reveals in media interviews that he has solved the marriage crisis.

How to keep couples together is an objective he has studied, researched and modeled on the brilliant insights of psychologist Carl Jung, the one-time heir apparent of Sigmund Freud.

In his new book, Equality: The Quest for the Happy Marriage, and as co-host of the “Men on Marriage” radio show, Kellis presents radically new, but remarkably simple solutions to end the cycle of divorce and achieve long lasting happiness and personal fulfillment in marriage.

At http://www.happyrelationships.com see Tim’s most recent interview on ABC in West Palm Beach and listen to his interviews on “A Balanced Life with Beth Aldrich” on KRWM in Seattle and on “SoundAuthors.com,” Tim is starting to get heard!

Kellis takes readers on a journey through history to not only help them discover more about themselves, but he teaches new ways to build and keep a happy, healthy, harmonious, affectionate and intimate marriage.

Equality examines what factors turn marriage negative, such as arguments or “the manner in which couples address inevitable conflicts. Positive relationships address them as ‘disagreements’ while negative relationships address them as ‘arguments’.”

Contact Kim Morgan at (561) 750-9800 x233 or kmorgan@transmediagroup.com

A new free resource is available online for people in need of legal information, do-it-yourself-legal forms or a lawyer. FindLaw.com http://www.findlaw.com, the nation’s premiere online source of legal information and services, has launched a new portal designed to make it easier for everyone from small-business owners to people planning their estates to access legal information and tools.

The portal, found at http://www.FindLaw.com, includes easy-to-understand information about state and federal laws, including an extensive collection of free case law, frequently asked questions, forms and checklists, and general information about everyday legal issues, including:

— Accidents and injuries
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FindLaw.com also provides visitors access to the largest online directory of lawyers to help them find an attorney in their community who specializes in their specific legal issue — from personal injury to wills and estates. Lawyers can be searched by practice area or location, and each listing provides office directions and a firm summary.

In addition to tools, information and resources related to each subject area, FindLaw.com includes a discussion forum where attorneys provide direct answers to legal questions, an extensive do-it-yourself section with dozens of sample legal forms and checklists, and streaming video of experts explaining complex legal issues in simple, easy-to-understand terms.

The goal of FindLaw.com, according to Steve Noel, vice president of FindLaw’s portal, is to make it easier for people dealing with legal issues to navigate the volumes of information that exist on each subject area and quickly find tools or attorneys that match their needs.

“FindLaw.com breaks the barrier that exists between people and the law,” said Noel. “It makes legal information and language easier to find and understand, and it helps people find trusted attorneys in their area with the right experience.”

Visit FindLaw.com at HTTP://www.findlaw.com.

About FindLaw

FindLaw, part of Thomson Reuters, is the legal industry’s most effective provider of online marketing and client development services.
FindLaw provides law firms with Web sites and other online marketing services that generate new business with qualified prospects and build stronger, more profitable relationships with existing clients. Attorneys can also be prominently listed on our Web portal, FindLaw.com, the world’s most-visited legal information site. To schedule an appointment with a FindLaw online marketing consultant, call 1-866-44FINDLAW (1-866-443-4635) or e-mail west.info-findlaw@thomson.com. Visit http://www.lawyermarketing.com for more information about the importance of law firm marketing.

About Thomson Reuters

Thomson Reuters is the world’s leading source of intelligent information for businesses and professionals. We combine industry expertise with innovative technology to deliver critical information to leading decision makers in the financial, legal, tax and accounting, scientific, healthcare and media markets, powered by the world’s most trusted news organization. With headquarters in New York and major operations in London and Eagan, Minnesota, Thomson Reuters employs more than 50,000 people in 93 countries. Thomson Reuters shares are listed on the New York Stock Exchange, Toronto Stock Exchange, London Stock Exchange and Nasdaq. For more information, go to http://www.thomsonreuters.com.

SOURCE FindLaw / PRNewswire

Unfortunately you have a bad feeling that your spouse maybe cheating on you. There’s just one problem. You have no evidence.

Yes your instincts are telling you something is wrong but there is nothing really to back it up. All the physical signs of an extramarital affair that you’ve read and heard about don’t exist. There has been no change in the marriage relationship. Anything that seems out of place has been easily explained. Sometimes before you can even confront your spouse, you provide the answer to your own concerns in such detail that you feel it would be ludicrous to go any further.

Maybe it’s just an overactive imagination. The mind can play terrible tricks with you by turning something trivial into a full blown disaster. It can happen to anybody.

And yet the feelings won’t go away. You have pretty good instincts when it comes to sensing trouble and right now they are telling you something is wrong in your marriage relationship.

What do you do? One possibility is to call in the pros. In other words hire a private investigator.

While many people may think of a private eye as someone on a far fetched adventure trying to save a beautiful princess from the bad guys or a person sitting in a cheap seedy office located on the wrong side of town, a private investigator is usually none of these things.

Their work can involve anything from the corporate world such as investigating an employee who may be stealing from the company, to working in conjunction with a highly regarded law firm on specific cases. As you can guess these kinds of jobs necessitate a pretty good knowledge of legal procedures since they maybe required to testify in court.

The work can vary but for the majority of private investigators earning a living comes down to, you guessed it, catching a cheating spouse. And business is always good.

Hiring a good private eye means employing someone who is an expert in the art of surveillance. To get the goods on a cheating spouse or anyone else for that matter requires the equipment necessary for effective shadowing and constant observation which may take an indefinite amount of time before the evidence presents itself.

A highly reputable private investigator can be expensive but the one thing they can provide you with is clear-cut proof of whether or not your spouse is cheating.

The question now becomes do you want to go that far? There is something about bringing in a third party to help catch a cheating spouse that makes many people uncomfortable. Even if there is relief when the private investigator tells you your partner has been faithful, it’s hard to escape the guilt you feel for spying on them.

Yes like it or not hiring a private investigator is spying. So if your instincts (or imagination) flare up again then you will find yourself right back in the same boat as before; shelling out good money only to be told the answer is still the same: Your spouse isn’t cheating.

There are pros and cons to hiring a private investigator. While there are many other things to also consider, it really comes down to how far you want to take it. Do some careful self examination. If you are pretty sure of your instincts and have no desire to live in a constant state of uncertainty then hiring a private investigator maybe your best option.

About the Author
Article written by Daryl Campbell- The Relationship Tip- When it comes to catching a cheating spouse, you either need a private investigator or to become one yourself. You may not be a pro but you already have a powerful tool at your disposal.

The morning after François Mitterrand’s funeral, a photo showed the late president’s mistress and illegitimate daughter standing by his grave alongside his wife and sons. That tableau has become famous internationally as proof that the French are uniquely tolerant of extramarital affairs.

In fact, although French presidents seem to have an infidelity record approaching 100 per cent, ordinary Frenchmen claim to be quite faithful. In a 2004 national survey, just 3.8 per cent of married men and 2 per cent of women said they had had more than one sex partner in the past year (the best approximation of infidelity) — fewer than in similar surveys in the U.S. and the U.K.

If France isn’t the world capital of adultery, which country is? I set off around the world to find out.

I quickly discovered that global sex research is patchy and incomplete. Even serious researchers can’t even agree on what to call infidelity. Nigerians prefer the term “sexual networking.” The Finns use the morally neutral term “parallel relationships.” A French team uses an expression perhaps better suited for an accounting course: “simultaneous multi-partnerships.”

Then there’s the tricky matter of what constitutes cheating. A poll in one South African magazine had separate categories for men who cheat, and men who cheat “while drunk.” One American survey defined sex as “either vaginal or anal intercourse,” while another decided that sex is a “mutually voluntary activity with another person that involves genital contact and sexual excitement or arousal, that is, feeling really turned on, even if intercourse or orgasm did not occur.” Americans haven’t yet tried to count their so-called “emotional affairs,” in which the “cheaters” might never meet.

Many countries simply have no reliable sex statistics. National surveys are expensive, and many governments are either too prudish or too poor to help pay for them (private funding is seldom sufficient). America’s first representative national survey only got off the ground in the 1990s, after conservative members of Congress spent years trying to block it. Hints of Japan’s infidelity levels come only from the enormous size of the country’s paid-sex industry, which is famously frequented by married businessmen. A legal loophole permits a man and a woman to strike a private agreement for sex. Understandably, the state would rather not be confronted with the details.

In Russia, just talking about sex research can be hazardous. Soviet governments barely permitted any public discussion of sex, let alone a survey that might embarrass the government by showing that Russians were engaging in banned activities like extramarital affairs. And though the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, Russia’s Orthodox church keeps the current government from funding practically anything related to sex.

“There were never and will not be in the foreseeable future national surveys,” said Igor Kon, a septuagenarian who’s Russia’s most prominent sexologist. When I visited him in Moscow, Kon showed me the pamphlet in which a group of Russian academics denounced him as a “danger to the Russian society and state” because of his calls for basic sex education and research. Earlier, hoodlums had attacked him while he delivered a lecture at Moscow University, and vandals defaced the door to his apartment. Kon was bothered least when he got a phone call threatening to bomb his apartment, since if the caller was serious Kon would already be dead. “To kill someone in Moscow is not a big problem,” he explained.

Despite the lack of hard data, in Russia and elsewhere there are facts on the ground. In Moscow, women in their forties told me that, by necessity, they only date married men. That’s because, since the life expectancy for Russian men has fallen so sharply (to 59) that by age 65 there are just 46 men left for every 100 women.

And it was clear that Russian men flaunted this demographic advantage. With the exception of a pastor (who was sitting with his wife at the time), I didn’t meet a single married man in Russia who admitted to being monogamous. A family psychologist whom I had intended to interview as an “expert” boasted about her own extramarital relationships and insisted that given Russia’s endemic alcoholism, violent crime, and tiny apartments, affairs are “obligatory.”

Muslim countries tend to be even stricter about sex research. It’s impossible to know how much cheating goes on in places like Iran, where convicted adulterers can be stoned to death. But again there are facts — or at least impressions — on the ground. In Indonesia, the most populous Muslim country, the middle-class women and men I met said that adultery is absolutely wrong because the Koran forbids it. Then they revealed that many of their married friends, and sometimes they themselves, had lovers. In these circles, the attitude toward affairs seemed almost casual: local slang for a no-strings romp was “afternoon nap,” and a brief love affair was a “wonderful interval.”

I didn’t find evidence anywhere in the world that religious people are particularly faithful. Within the social circles I studied in Indonesia, the fact that polygamy is legal seemed to legitimize the idea that a man won’t be satisfied with just one woman. “Polygamy is something that induces adultery, because before they get married for the second time there’s a period of adultery, ” said sociologist Paulus Wirutomo of the University of Indonesia. “Islam is not permissive, but there’s an emphasis on formality. ”

I did find that, all over, money shapes the rules of infidelity. Men in rich countries are generally much more faithful than their counterparts in poor ones. That’s in part because first-world cheaters tend to be punished more severely. In America, a single affair can mean losing your marriage, your assets, your status and your self respect. Just 3.9 percent of married American men said they’d had more than one partner in the last year, according to the 2004 General Social Survey carried out by the National Opinion Research Center. Even in wealthy countries where the taboo on cheating is weaker than in the U.S. — Australia, Switzerland and Italy, for instance — husbands claim to be quite faithful too.

Among women, it’s just the opposite. Women in poor countries say they cheat infrequently, perhaps because they have less financial and social clout than their husbands. But in wealthier countries, where the status of men and women is more equal, levels of male and female infidelity — while still quite low — are fairly equal too.

While it’s impossible to get an exact measure of infidelity, there are some clues about where the most cheating goes on. Beginning in the 1990s, researchers tracking the spread of HIV began extensively mapping sexual behavior in sub-Saharan Africa. Their findings were astonishing: in the tiny West African nation of Togo, with a population of less than six million, 37 percent of married or cohabiting men said they’ve had more than one sex partner in the last year (the figure includes polygamists). Trailing just behind the Togolese were men in Cameroon, the Ivory Coast, Mozambique and Tanzania. In South Africa, even the AIDS educator at a Cape Town metal company told me that of course he had a girlfriend as well as a wife.

And so the dubious title of world infidelity capital goes to a region: sub-Saharan Africa. And with ordinary citizens cheating at such astonishing levels, one can only imagine what African politicians are up to. Surely they put even French presidents to shame.

About the Author - Pamela Druckerman
Pamela Druckerman is the author of Lust in Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee.