Cutting long story short.

Am an Indian, married for 16 years. Have two kids. They are in India since 2009 taking care of kids’ education and I am in Middle East on job. Observing (December 2010): (i) her not taking interest in sex for 1 year (ii) not smiling at me when I reach home, (iii) talking to an unmarried next door bachelor on mobile phone in whisper, (iv) inviting a grown up boy to home and giving him mobile number, (v) and frequent fights, I understood something was wrong. I visit them once in 3 months.

In Jan 2011, after a fight, she confessed to have fallen in love and agreed to marry a schoolmate in 1992. The affair was abruptly ended by her family and she was married off to me. Ours is an arranged marriage. She denies any physical contact with that schoolmate.

She asks me about how I feel about her, whether she has been truthful to me. I wonder if there had been no physical affair, why she should feel guilty.

Now she indicates that there are other men flirting with her.

She had a massage (a year ago) from a male friend of mine in Middle East and now that male friend is proposing to me for one night swapping of wives!

She says that unmarried bachelor neighbour’s intentions are not good, and the other males flirting with her have other (!) intentions.

She scratched my hands, back – as she narrated a story of illicit affair occurred nearby. Very emotional. She threatened me with very serious repercussions (killing kids and committing suicide) if I have any affair here. I am beyond shock and do not know how to deal with this.

Is she cheating on me? Has she cheated on me? How to know this? I tried through some simple polite conversations and she a sort of denying.

I am upset, angry and frustrated. Can anyone throw some light?

Your Plan: Confront my partner,Work it out