I read a lot about cheating men, but my life was destroyed by my cheating wife and the homewrecker douchebag who is now with her. HE knew my now EX was married that we had a 2 year old. I had even met him a few times and had been to his house. Now my whole life has changed, I had to quit my job to relocate myself and my daughter to be closer to family and had to give up my dreams after putting in 2 hard HARD years of work. My shitty ex wife lied and lied and covered it up (this after knowing her 15 years) At least she did decide she wanted to stay in her daughters life and moved back as well. Now we are divorced and I have joint custody of my daughter who means the world to me. It’s been a year and I’m over my cheating wife as I KNOW I deserve better than that. My question is how do I deal with her homewrecking boyfriend? He comes and visits on the weekend (so he can f*** around) and then he goes home during the week to work. No committment… He’s a total sleazebag. I’ve been told that he is very nice to my daughter and she really likes him because he plays with her. Apparently he likes and is good with Kids. He has also been taking care of a sick parent for a long time. Other than being a homewrecker he’s apparently a good guy. I’m grateful for this but I still can’t stand to see him and part of me would like to hire some goons to show him the bottom of Pacific Ocean with some concrete shoes. I always refrain from talking bad about him to my little girl but I’m finding that it slips out once in a while that “daddy doesn’t like ….” If anything I’d love to out this homewrecker on this forum but I don’t want my daughter to suffer for anything. Any revenge ideas? I HATE This Douchebag!!!!!
Thanks!
His Plan: Revenge
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women cheat just as much as men, and it is sometimes forgotten that the male half of the relationship can be the victim too.
I would forget the revenge idea though, because the only person that will suffer is your little girl in the end.
Start to think about re-building your own life, and finding someone to share it with.
Revenge only seems to feel good for a short time… then it starts hurting everyone who was affected by it. I’d suggest moving on and making life as good as you can make it for that little girl.
Katharina is right, rise above it and rebuild your life, in the long run that will be better and more satisfying than revenge.
besides.. when he sees how you have built a better life without him, that will be revenge enough.
Revenge is a natural feeling but don’t act on it, you are better than that. Be the best parent that you can be and give your child the very best start you can. She only has one dad and she is depending on you to get it right for her.
So true, revenge will not bring you any solutions. Only a temporary feeling of such. In the long run the relationship you have with your daughter will be the most important, work on that now. Don’t give anymore energy or thought to this other person.
Revenge is so tempting because you want to hurt the person who has hurt you, but revenge is destructive and it ends up hurting you and making you feel bad about yourself.
I understand you’re angry, but revenge is not the answer. It will only hurt you and your daughter. Should you cross a line and do something illegal or immoral, your daughter may never forgive you. And there could be results that could separate you from her. If you need help moving forward, then get it. Don’t waste your time and energy and someone who isn’t worthy of it.
It is harder to rise above the natural desire for revenge and be the better person, but if you can do that you will be the winner in the long term.
thing is your revenge won’t make you feel any better.. you’ll just end up bitter and miserable.
I believe in outing home wreckers. I knew a woman once who hired people to put up notices along the street where her home wrecker live, naming her as such. Another woman used to keep a post it pad with the email address of her home wrecker and every where she went she left one asking whoever found it to email the home wrecker and telling her to leave other women’s husbands alone. She left them in washrooms, on the pages of menus, on fast food tables, in airports. It’s a small thing … harmless and not criminal and it gave her a little of her power back.
Sadly Stav is right, women cheat too. I am sorry that you were so badly hurt by her behaviour. Forget revenge, focus on your daughter, try to make life as good as possible for her.
Had my life ruined by a female homewrecker too, this was 6 months ago. It’s so hard to put behind you, all I think about each day is how I can get her back. She has now moved away to London from Birmingham, running away from the mess she left I say. It eats you up inside and at present its not getting any easier. Flipping girls at Marriott hotels….all her friends stood by her like she was the poor innocent victim. Soul destroying.
I do think that NYS should adopt penalizing home wreckers. I think Florida hold people accountable for adultery! Not a bad thought. If you’re willing to break up a home, then you should be willing to pay alimony too.
homewreckersandharlots.com
I know that the popular answer is to move on and live well. And as a victim, I do hope that as an end goal that turns out to be sound advice.
It’s been a year since I learned about my husband’s affair with this wretch. I still can’t deal with my emotions in a healthy way. I posted my story on the website above – Harlot # 7 Melanie Broadbent. I believe that people should be held accountable for their actions. Her, and my husband. Both of them. It’s part of thet healing process.
Moving on is well and good, but I think everyone trespassed on by a homewrecker needs the satisfaction of outing that person. Good for anyone who is willing to stand up for themselves and not just wimp away and ‘move on’. Spouse poaching is ugly business and ugly people do it. They deserve to be known to the public because if they do it once they will do it again.
I went through the same thing and it wasn’t easy. I look and my son and know that that was God’s reason for me ever being with him. I live freely and happy without him and think they deserve each other.
It will take time … it’s taken me 3 years to truly be over it, but I’ve never let them see me sweat!
The best revenge is not to allow them to change who you are, so that your daughter is raised to trust in your, thereby choose a good man for herself.
My life was ruined by this horrible home wrecker. Geri. She destroyed my family because she would not leave my husband alone. This women became a trusted family friend and then the next thing I know she is screwing my husband. He left me and our 3 children just to find out this women was having many affairs. Serves him right. I won’t take him back.
Out homewreckers. Name them. Tell people. They aren’t “good guys”. They are low life creeps who need to be outed. Don’t talk to the homewrecker. Don’t contact the homewrecker. But out them in a public way. Tell their friends, family, neighbors, coworkers. Tell everyone. Blog their names on sites. It’s the best revenge. Just name them. Tell the truth but reveal them.
Abandoned, the same thing hppen to me; but I want my husband back. It hurts so much, I can’t sleep.