My wife and I were introduced 10 years ago by our mutual boss. He has remained our very good friend over the years and is now my wife\’s business partner. We got married 5 years ago and had a baby a year later.
I recently discovered that she has been having an affair with him for several years. I confronted her with evidence and she confessed and said she would do whatever it takes to work it out with me. But twice after that I have seen communications between them planning trips and talking love talk. I confronter her again and she promised to break it off completely.
I suspect she really does love me but wants to keep the affair alive. I\’m not sure if I should trust her even though I love her.
His Plan: Confront my partner,Work it out
I think you should ask yourself, what’s your definition of Love. I give you the true definition of Love and ask yourself if you or your wife truly have that for each other. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed updoes not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
This is a very difficult situation. I’m sorry it must be very painful for you. If your wife is serious about making it work between you, it seems to me that she needs to end her business relationship with this man as well. These are hard times financially so it may be difficult for her to do that, but I think it is the only way. It will be hard for both of you but I really hope you can rebuild your marriage.
If she really wants to work it out with you, the first thing she must do is break from him completely. They are business partners you say. She needs to disolve that partnership, that way there is no excuse to see him.
THen you need to find out what it is she thinks she is mising in her life, that makes her seek this man out. Once you’ve worked that out, you can try to fix it. Together.
The last poster made some good points. It has to be together if you’re going to work on this.
That said, it’s also very important that you find out what she feels she’s missing. Because even if she totally breaks off all contact with this person, you don’t want it to happen all over again with someone new.
I think the other posters are right that it is important to work out why it happened. I think for your sake if you are ever going to restore trust in the relationship you need to know why things slipped in the first place.
If she really wants to work it out with you, the first thing she must do is break from him completely. They are business partners you say. She needs to disolve that partnership, that way there is no excuse to see him.
THen you need to find out what it is she thinks she is mising in her life, that makes her seek this man out. Once you’ve worked that out, you can try to fix it. Together.
I agree with the above answer. You love her. She doesnt love you. The bottom line in a relationship is….there is no stray from either side. There is communication, counseling and working together to make the love happen and grow. Honestly, I would get rid of her. She continues with it, sounds like shes waiting to see what the othe guy is going to do and is leading you on. If there is no integrity in her, she will continue no matter whos she with. There are good women out there. And you deserve to be respected. All of us do.
Before you do anything drastic, figure out what your own limits are. What are you willing to accept, and what not?
If it turns out that she truly loves you and also the other guy — if it turns out that she truly doesn’t want to break it off with either of you — can you live with that? You’ve got a four-year-old: so before you answer that question, think long and hard about what your four-year-old’s face is going to look like if you have to tell him or her that Mommy and Daddy are splitting up and won’t live together any more. Got that picture firmly in your mind? Good, now go back to my question. How much can you put up with in order to spare your child that kind of pain?
You might be able to put up with a lot more than you think.