13 Responses

• stav on January 14th, 2010 at 2:47 pm

  Joan, this man is not only cheating you, but cheating the other woman too. No good can come from this for you. If he loved you, he would not cheat.

• justontime on January 14th, 2010 at 2:58 pm

  I’m sorry but this is the worst sort of man. He is a cheat and he is trying to justify it by blaming you! That is not love. You deserver better than that,

• chris1203 on January 16th, 2010 at 4:18 pm

  I feel that he was probably cheating before you made your “hurtful” statement to him. He’s just turning it around on you know to make you feel that his cheating behavior is your fault.

• deltic on January 17th, 2010 at 3:29 am

  I agree with chris and justontime, he is trying to justify his behaviour by blaming you. He is responsible for his own choices and actions, it is not your fault. As Stav said if he loved you he would not cheat and he would not blame you. I am sorry but I don’t have much hope of him changing.

• Taggart on January 17th, 2010 at 6:15 pm

  I agree that he shouldn’t have cheated. And I also think it’s important to not say hurtful things when arguing, especially with a loved one.

  I think there are some couples who may be able to pick up the pieces after something like this.

• stav on January 25th, 2010 at 2:16 pm

  I can’t see how the relationship can continue if he has another woman, and tells her he loves her though Taggart. I do agree that trying hard not to say things you’ll regret later when the heat of the moment has passed is important.

• deltic on January 25th, 2010 at 2:54 pm

  Some women put up with cheating men, they have their reasons, I can’t say I fully understand but it is their choice. However this man not only cheated he blamed his wife for making him do it. He will keep on cheating because he has no respect for his wife or family. She has some hard choices to make.

• Taggart on January 28th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

  Stav, that is a good point. I suppose a lot of people say that without being sincere, and I think it may be easier to do in a text.

  If everyone said how they really felt in this situation all along, I think it would be much easier to resolve.

• stav on January 29th, 2010 at 11:15 am

  my problem with that Taggart, is that if he was insincere when he told the other woman by text that he loves her.. then maybe he is being just as insincere when he tells Joan the same thing…

• deltic on January 29th, 2010 at 4:26 pm

  I agree Stav, that is certainly what would be going through my mind if I was his wife.

• Taggart on January 29th, 2010 at 4:31 pm

  Yes, that also makes sense. So I guess he would have to really prove himself to stay in the relationship. I’ve heard of several people who wished they’d stayed with their original spouses… I don’t know if he’s one or not.

  And about the texting, that reminds me of a friend of mine who was dumped by email – Twice, I think and she’s back with the guy.

• debrajean on February 21st, 2010 at 3:46 am

  This man is a typical cheater, liar, and not good husband material. First things first, stop blaming yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong. The real question should be, “what’s wrong with him that he can throw an 8 yr relationship away so easily?” Seek out your closest human services department and apply for all the assistance you can for you and your child. See what avenues you need to take to make yourself self-sufficient and then take the steps you need to in order to provide for you and your child.

• justontime on February 21st, 2010 at 5:35 pm

  I think debrajean has given you good advice. Don’t blame yourself, the blame lies with him. I really hope you can build a good life for you and your child.