Comments on: In A Relationship During Breakup – Is That Considered Cheating?

By: debrajean

debrajean — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:54:59 +0000

I don’t believe it was cheating. He broke up with you, that means you are now free to check out other possibilities. He has no right to dictate to you about your newfound freedom. HE gave you that freedom…I say enjoy it to the hilt!

By: deltic

deltic — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:01:20 +0000

Quite right stav, but at the time many of those thoughts are unconscious. You just keep telling yourself that you are over it and you are fine, but deep down you are vulnerable, and as you said some dodgy people pick up on that.

By: stav

stav — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:19:48 +0000

When you’ve just come out of a relationship badly, you are susceptible to a charming new person. All your usual caution can go outthe window, in your need to prove to yourself that you are perfectly esirable and that your relationshuip did not fail because there is something wrong with you. Powerful stuff, and there are those that have an instinct for the vulnerable and prey on them.

By: deltic

deltic — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:40:42 +0000

I have been in that position and you honestly don’t realise how vulnerable you are, but you are likely to make some rash decisions and you may regret it later.

By: stav

stav — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 18:32:21 +0000

Then if you take it slow, make sure you’ve worked through your feelings about the breakup with the ex, there is always a chance. The ‘one’ will wait for you. In this case, it wasn’t even clear that it was a final break, so whoever she took up with, it was probably doomed anyway.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:31:59 +0000

Yes, people can be very vulnerable in the “rebound” period. I see that happening with a nephew of mine right now.

I think a challenging thing about it is the person on the rebound thinking “But what if I happen to meet the right person now, and don’t act on it”?

By: deltic

deltic — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 22:17:26 +0000

Unfortunately you see it happen too often. Sometimes people think they are fine when in reality they are vulnerable and they end up getting hurt. Others just want to prove something to themselves or perhaps to the ex and they get taken advantage of.

By: stav

stav — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:16:06 +0000

agree there Deltic, a new partner onthe rebound is usually a recipe for disaster…

By: deltic

deltic — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:29:56 +0000

Stav your last comment made me laugh! Taggart I can see that your view of what was going on is as likely as any of the other posibilities.

In general I think that after a break up it is wise to give yourself time to recover before thinking about dating again. Even if you think you are fine you are likely to be vulnerable after a break up.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:23:52 +0000

Hey stav, I agree that the “break” really wasn’t implied and I don’t disagree with your points.

Maybe I thought that was a possibility because they did get back together.