My sister start dating this older man and he was married i neva knew about that but i didnt care at that point but one day they start playing on my phone i thought it was her so i was playing rite bak but then i noticed days after that it was them together playing on the phone but this time it was only him i was shock but since i didnt want to be rude i continue to talk to him he made me laugh alot at his jokes and we talked about sex but we both planned to meet up and stay the nite wit each other i agreed because i didnt want to stay home and i didnt think nothing happen so we had sex he went unprotected in me but thats wat he said but i know i saw him wit a condom on so then the next day we went to eat and i went back home my stomach didnt feel rite and i didnt neither i ranaway to my sister house after trying to call him numerous of times the phone was disconnected 2 minutes after i arrived he came up he look at me i put my head down i stay there for about 2-3 months ended up pregnant i wasnt ready for a baby but i did want the baby he didnt so we had a abortion and yeah he was there with me the hold time my sister kept kallin sayin to stay away from ha man wen he told me that they not together i ignored her because i fell n love with him and he fell n love with me until my sister finally told me that she had sex with one of my ex boyfriends out of anger i figured that because she had his number i ended up pregnant again with my sister boyfriend or ex boyfriend and we had a lil gurl everything was going good until i found out wen i was 7 months pregnant my sister was giving birth to ha 2nd child she say that it was ha boyfriends wen i ask him about it he say that its a 50/50 chance and before i found out fromher he told me that one day he was drunk and she rode him to sleep (sex) than he said that she had went and toke out a old condom that he put n the rash after sex which was years ago and saved it that theyre daughter found it wrap in alumini. i’m foil in the refrigerator but didnt know wat it was so till that day we been having problems in are relationship okay now here another part i found out that him and his wife was legally seperated i didnt know wat that meant but i do now legally they still married and have 3 sons together i domnt know wat to do he beats on me but he havent did it in a while and i beat on him but not as much as he do i dont know wat to do
Your Plan:
Ignore it,Work it out,Leave my relationship,Revenge
Advice For Others:
just remember love can make u do terrible things
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wow, what a lot of trauma..
my sister and i have totally different tastes in men, so i can’t see me ever having your problems, but I really think you need to ditch the married guy. He’s already proved he can’t be trusted, and that he doesn’t respect you, and he beats you!!! What makes you think he’ll change?
This all sounds very confused and not the best environment for a child. This man hasn’t given you any reason to expect him to be reliable or trustworthy, he is not the sort of person you want as a life partner. Please take a long hard look at this mess and the part you played in it. You have to take responsibility for protecting yourself and your child, you can’t just go through life without thinking about the consequences of your actions.
Playing around with a married man is never a good thing, no matter what. Get your own life and find someone who will care about you and you alone.
Your post has played on my mind. The fact that you allowed these things to happen and did not seem to give a thought to how you each felt as sistters, made me feel that you both may have been previous victims of sexual abuse. Certainly there seems to be some disfunctional family dynamics and a lack of normal boundaries. Please go and get some help, I don’t know what is available in your area but there should be a womens support group of some kind.
I agree with justontime. I think you should define what kind of personal life you want to have, and probably avoid the situations that would lead to so much difficulty. I hope you have success with it.
Hmm Rebecca,
I’m not sure what to say about this situation. To be involved with a married man and help to ruin a family is despicable in itself. It is very hard for me to feel any empathy for you because of that alone but to hear that you were involved with a man that your sister was involved in who should have either is more despicable.
You know, I just think your situation is disgusting all around and to hear that you each have brought children in this world by this man for whatever reason is beyond understanding. How could you not feel that this would end up this way and now there are more children in this world without their own father in the house. They now have someone else’s father who will probably not have much of a bond with them. Shame on both of you! I guess I can leave by saying that you both deserve what you ended up with, nothing!
The thing that disturbs me most as for the affair is the disregard for eachother as sisters. I agree with Just on time. Well said. A womans support group would be good and it starts with self love and self respect.
It’s amazing to me, Tara, how many sisters get involved in this kind of thing in the first place, and sometimes it’s just spiteful.
I don’t know of any sisters in situations like that in my social circles. I’ve seen that kind of thing on Springer, when someone else had the show turned on – I don’t watch it.
I find it surprising that some people seem to thrive on this kind of drama.
I wonder how Rebecca’s situation worked out?
this type of thing could be avoided with proper sex education in schools, and teaching girls to have more respect for themselves. Rebecca seems to find nothing wrong in being treated like a doormat by this man who has taken advantage of both her sister and herself.
People usually learn from example, I wonder if this sort of behaviour is considered normal in her family. It seems very sad. I hope she gets some help.
Justontime,
If this behavior is normal in their family then that makes it even worse. I just cannot fathom this kind of behavior between friends let alone sisters. I just don’t know what to say about this except that it is just too much to believe. Stav, I cannot say that this man took advantage of these sisters more so than these sisters allowing this man to take advantage of them. This would be the same as any woman allowing this man, this married man to be in their circle. He didn’t take advantage of them, they wanted him and allowed him to use them because they each knew he was married.
Do they not share equal blame in this situation as would the “other women” who allow and participate willingly?
Playing around with married men is playing with fire. Someone always gets hurt, usually all concerned. Why not try and find youself a decent christian lad who will treat you like a lady. I have no time for women who go for the bad boy, and when thing turn bad, they expect sympathy. Try a decent lad instead!
Taggart, none of my personal friends are like this either, but I do know of battling sisters who are in competition with each other for their entire lives. It’s very sad.
Stav, you make a good point about proper sex education being available to all youg people. A wise government would also ensure easy access to contraception. Children who are the product of situations like this start life at a great disadvantage.
I know of examples of families who repeat the unfortunate behavior that they were raised with, and it must be very challenging to break the trend. I think some troubled people just assume that their particular level of dysfunction is normal, unfortunately.
regarding battling sisters, i have a younger by 11 months sister, and she always felt she had to compete with me… when i was younger i would join in too, outdoing her at every turn… but i grew up and withdrew from the contest.. realising quite early on, that it was pointless. She never has though, and still feels she needs to prove something. My parents take some of the blame, as i was the first born, and quite good at school, and i got all the attention. My sister, not so academically inclined, seemed to struggle to win their approval.
I’ve seen it in my own family in much more subtle ways than we see on Jerry Springer or something like that. I mean just little verbal digs here are there that aren’t necessarily acknowledged at the time in the conversation but play on someone’s mind later.
You didn’t want to be rude on the phone to this guy, but you didn’t think it was rude to your sister to have sex with her boyfriend? Priorities, priorities….!
Let’s not forget the guy was already married! He must be one silver-tongued devil to keep three (maybe more) women hooked.
lol Molly.. It does make you wonder sometimes. I can’t see any way that this situation could ever right itself. Two sisters, one scumbag…
This is the kind of story that the anti-choice people just love in their fight to ban a woman’s right to choose, regarding abortion. “I was with this guy for a couple of months, I ended up pregnant, I wanted it, I changed my mind, I had an abortion.” Shame on you! Anyone with any sense uses contraception. Someone who plays so casually with life deserves to feel rotten.
This case does sound like it has a very casual approach to becoming pregnant and sex in general. I think it’s a good reason for stepping up education on contraception. Hopefully a lesson’s been learned.
This seems like far too much drama for me to want to deal with. My advice? Be done with the whole situation and get your own (unattached) man.
Taggart, you are so right when you say that the attitude is too casual when it comes to pregnancy and sex. Some just don’t care and others feel if they do get pregnant by the married man that they got him and can keep that attachment. It is sad for the child because the bond needed will not be there. It is a sick way for her to try and keep this man in her life with no thoughts of the child.
Way too much drama
I definitely agree that there’s too much drama, but I’m constantly amazed that some people seem to be drawn to it. Some people seem to be comfortable living in the middle of a soap opera plot.
How would you like to live next door to this woman? Between all the beating and screaming, and all…! Something tells me her whole life is screwed up, not just her love life.
That may be, mollyL. Hopefully she’s on a better track now. I’d be very interested to hear how she’s doing now. I guess the most important thing may be to stop the cycle of the beating… At least for a start. I wonder if he came from a family where that happened?
I know what you mean Molly, but I can’t help feeling that if tis lady had been surrounded by loving family and neighbours who cared enough to show her the right way, she wouldn’t have been in this position in the first place.
I think in many cases neighbors are reluctant to get involved in family disputes. Sometimes it sounds worse than it is, but then there’s also abuse that isn’t that noisy at all.
I didn’t necessarily mean getting involved in disputes. These young women must have been raised somewhere, if people had taken an interest in them and set them an example they may not have got into this terrible situation in the first place.
Oh justontime, I see. I guess it’s sort of like the saying “It takes a village to raise a child.”
All children could use good role models to look up to.
I think justontime is right, I think it is about treating the child as a person, taking an interest in him/her, but it needs to start when the child is young. Just being friendly and having good standards yourself, neighbours and friends can do that and it is even more important when things seem to be lacking at home.
I agree with the concept of treating children as persons, including not “talking down” to them the way some people tend to communicate with them.
And presenting a positive example is essential.
kids understand a lot more than we realise, and they are also easily affected by drama they see around them. often they have no way to express how they feel about what is going on and bottle up things that cause them problems later on.
Children benefit form consistent influences in their lives. A neighbour who asks how they are getting on at school (and listens to the answer), admires a new outfit or just has a little chat when they meet in the street, will gradually win the childs trust and the child will benefit even from that small degree of involvement.
I’m sure even unborn children are aware of the stress in the voices they hear from inside the womb.
I read of a musician who recognized a piece of music he hadn’t heard since he was born… His mother had been practicing it on a cello while she was carrying him.
I agree Deltic. Lots of small positive influences on a child, add up.
I’ve read of things like that happeningmany times Taggart. There is still so much we do not understand.
I think many of us take for granted the good role models around us when we grew up and we assume that the same support is available for everyone. There were several people in my church who took a special interest in me, a family friend who became more than a grandmother to me, aunts and uncles, several really amazing teachers at school and I am sure there were others. People who grow up in families where something is lacking at home need that outside support even more, but they are less likely to have access to the people who could support and encourage them.