Comments on: Is She Having An Office Affair?

By: mollyL

mollyL — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:46:16 +0000

Very good point, stav. Perhaps he needs to communicate his true feelings to his “affair” lady. Maybe she just isn’t aware of exactly how he feels.

By: stav

stav — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:07:58 +0000

yup.. What Molly said. You describe your relationship as an ‘affair’ rather than a relationship.. which indicates something temporary.. If that’s how you’ve been treating her, perhaps she is considering finding something more permanent?

By: mollyL

mollyL — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:36:23 +0000

Some people might say, “I don’t see a ring on her finger.” If it is, as you say, you are having an affair with her, then she is a free woman to do as she will.
If it is so important to you that she not mess about with any other men, and you find that you really love her, marry her. Then you have some kind of say in the matter.

By: justontime

justontime — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:11:18 +0000

I think this is a case where honest and open communication is vital. It may be that her work has caused a lack of communication and a resentment, however it is a big step to assume she is cheating. Please talk honestly together .

By: Taggart

Taggart — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:04:32 +0000

Well, I’d say if the answer to the above two question is “yes” it’s a good sign but not necessarily the ultimate test to determine if someone’s involved elsewhere.

Kets, I also wonder about your use of the term “affair” to describe your relationship?

By: stav

stav — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:25:51 +0000

Does she come home to you every night? Does she tell you she loves you? Perhaps it is just your insecurity in your relationship, that is making you distrustful. You say you have been having an ‘afair’ for 5 years. Maybe after all this time you should be ready to make more commitment?

By: Orrymain

Orrymain — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:45:33 +0000

If you can’t trust her, then the relationship is doomed to failure. So, either you decide to trust her, or cut the ties and find someone else whom you can trust.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:02:10 +0000

Good point kernow – And I think it may take us a while to get to know someone well enough to approach difficult conversations in the way that will be best received.

So I think that makes this situation even more challenging if it takes place early in a relationship, when a couple is still getting to know each other.

By: kernow

kernow — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 00:17:37 +0000

Yes, it is important to be honest about feelings, but finding the right words to express it can make a big difference to the way the information is received.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:28:20 +0000

And I think ideally that conversation would take place early in the experience, before any relationship has a chance to really get off the ground.

I guess this sort of thing is probably more common than we may know.