15 Responses

• kernow on August 11th, 2009 at 4:04 am

  There is no need to make such a big deal about it, there are various reasons why women find themselves single again after many years. It is a bit daunting at first but it can be a very posative experience.

• justontime on August 11th, 2009 at 4:54 am

  It isn’t all about sex, if you get the other aspects of a relationship right first, things will progress naturally at a pace you are comfortable with.

• chris1203 on August 11th, 2009 at 8:59 pm

  I think that it is very scary to be in the dating scene again, after years out of commission, so to speak. I think that everything should be taken very slowly for just that reason.

• Taggart on August 12th, 2009 at 6:01 am

  I think that ideally a person a woman would want to have sex with will probably be very considerate of the fact that it should be taken slowly if there’s any reason she wants to, including several years without it.

  If someone comes across as impatient in that situation, it’s probably a very telling sign.

• justontime on August 12th, 2009 at 10:19 am

  Very well put Taggart. When you are a little more mature you know there is a lot more to a relationship than just sex -but there is a lot of truth in the old saying Life Begins at 40!

• kernow on August 12th, 2009 at 10:32 am

  That is true justontime, in fact I think a bit of maturity can help the person to enjoy life a bit and value various aspects of the relationsip.

• SageMother on August 12th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

  How is “sex” being defined here?

  Is it full blown intercourse or does it also include erotic activities that may not involve intercourse?

• Taggart on August 15th, 2009 at 4:55 am

  Sagemother raises a good point, especially for couples involving older men, I’d think. In some cases medication or medical conditions may limit the intimate activities.

• justontime on August 15th, 2009 at 5:05 am

  When I listened to it, it seemed to be talking about women who had been with just one partner and not ‘in the dating market’ for more than 15 years.

• stav on October 20th, 2009 at 2:57 pm

  it must be pretty traumatic for a woman having to get back into the mindset of having sex, after going without for so long. It’s like everything else, you can get out of practice, and then everything is awkward… how to take clothes off, which side of the bed etc… all these little things can turn into huge issues.

  I would think the most important thing is not to feel pressured or rushed, so you can ease yourself into the habit..

• Taggart on October 23rd, 2009 at 6:22 am

  I think healthy self-esteem and a positive mindset could be very valuable in that situation… Not to mention even a little sense of humor at times.

  I think the right partner would make it much easier.

• stav on October 27th, 2009 at 9:36 am

  A sense of humour is probably the most important thing, now that you mention it Taggart.. You will often find yourself feeling faintly ridiculous as you wriggle into some sexy scrap of lacy lingerie…

• heretoday on November 8th, 2009 at 6:21 pm

  From a practical standpoint, and if “no sex” for fifteen years equals “no intercourse”, a woman would be well advised to make an appointment with her gynecologist for a bit of a check up and discussion. A woman who may remember intercourse as a quite easy endeavour may be a bit traumatized to find that her “plumbing” doesn’t respond as it once did.

• chris1203 on November 18th, 2009 at 9:57 am

  Very good point about it not being “all about sex” justontime. I think that many of us forget that sex is not just a matter of technical expertise.

• chris1203 on November 18th, 2009 at 9:59 am

  Wow, heretoday, I never thought about the possible necessity of a gynecological checkup before engaging in sexual intercouse again.