28 Responses

• justontime on October 20th, 2009 at 8:14 am

  I liked the style of this and the way it was done, it is certainly worth watching.

• Taggart on October 22nd, 2009 at 6:24 am

  I firmly believe that some arguing in a relationship is constructive, but also some things can be said to be hurtful and in that case damage can also be done.

  I think a lot of people have failed in their attempts to “fix” others.

• justontime on October 25th, 2009 at 10:43 am

  I am not sure that you can fix someone else. I don’t see argument as a problemas long as it is not spiteful and cruel.

• Tara on October 25th, 2009 at 4:54 pm

  I’ve been with my guy for two years and we have a rule. Everything we do and say about the others behavior comes from love and we trust that the other has our best interest at heart. It works. No you can’t fix anyome else only your behavior.Plus we always make a effort to stick to the issue at hand and not drag up past events which is as hard as hell.

• Donald on October 25th, 2009 at 6:31 pm

  If your relationship is so fabulous Tara why are you on here? Did your boyfriend cheat or are you just trying to get info and insight from some other posts? Just curious really BUT hey I love what you have to say,as we all know it’s easier said than done. I have a hell of a hard time not bringing up the past. I find that a giid fight leads to great make up nooky

• Orrymain on October 28th, 2009 at 2:15 am

  You can’t fix someone else. You can be there to be supportive, with words and motivation. You can love them and try to educate them, but if they don’t want to be fixed, you’re stuck.

• justontime on October 28th, 2009 at 6:25 am

  That is right Orrymain, but you can try to support them in various ways. The wisdom comes in knowing what to say or do and when to back off.

• Taggart on October 28th, 2009 at 6:56 am

  I agree with the previous two posts – I think we can’t fix someone else but we can support them, and it’s not always easy to know how to go about it.

  I think the old adage “You have to want to change” rings true.

• heretoday on November 10th, 2009 at 12:54 pm

  I’m in agreement with all here. I’d also like to say to anybody who makes a habit of arguing and fighting with their significant other in public: STOP IT. You’re not clever and nobody wants to hear it.

• T on November 22nd, 2009 at 6:51 am

  I’m in agreement here too with most of you that some arguing is okay and productive but it should never take place in a public arena for others to see and witness. I think this would be very disrespectful for both parties and counter-productive. When all is said and done as Donald shared, it makes for great make up nooky.

• Taggart on November 22nd, 2009 at 7:28 am

  A friend of mine said that he wished his ex-wife had argued with him – He thought that they may have been able to save the marriage if they had. So I agree that there is a time and a place for “constructive” arguments in a relationship.

• heretoday on November 25th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

  It is true that make-up “nookie” (haven’t heard this word in years!)can be passionate and wonderful, it’s not worth the damage you’re sure to do to your relationship when you fight like that.

• mollyL on November 25th, 2009 at 2:16 pm

  There are the couples who seem to fight and bicker all the time and their relationship seems to thrive. That’s the kind of fighting I don’t get.

• T on November 25th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

  heretoday, it is very much worth the time and can actually help repair the relationship. You just have to fight the right way and have some boundaries but sometimes, those boundaries are crossed. The fun is right and it feels really good, lol.

• Taggart on November 26th, 2009 at 10:31 am

  MollyL, I think that often the bark is worse than the bite, although sometimes people say hurtful things if the fighting escalates. Otherwise, I think in many relationships, frequent bickering about everyday things that isn’t too serious can act as a pressure release.

• T on November 26th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

  Agree Taggart!

• chris1203 on January 16th, 2010 at 4:20 pm

  I think that no matter how compativle a couple is, there will be disagreements. But I believe that these disagreements can bring a couple closer, if handled properly (constructively).

• deltic on January 17th, 2010 at 3:36 am

  There are couples who bicker and argue all the time, but I think there have to be some boundaries that can’t be crossed without damage. Words can not be taken back and what someone says in temper can fester afterwards and cause problems in the relationship.

• stav on January 17th, 2010 at 11:39 am

  sometimes a good row can clear the air, better than letting resentment fester and grow into something bigger and harder to fix.

• deltic on January 18th, 2010 at 11:46 am

  I agree with Stav on this one, you need to deal with issues and sometimes that leads to a row but at least you are communicating. It is better than letting things fester.

• stav on January 18th, 2010 at 12:58 pm

  Arow is just as good a communication as a quiet chat sometimes.

  So long as it doesn’t get out of hand, a full and frank unloading of all the frustration and fear can make things better.

• Taggart on January 25th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

  I agree, stav. I think that even abrupt things said may help the situation if intentionally hurtful things aren’t said.

  It’s interesting how you can often hear some neighbors fighting, but they seem to be happy together.

• deltic on January 26th, 2010 at 2:28 pm

  I think it is all about boundries. Some people row, loud and often but I think they know where to draw the line. There are some things that are so hurtful and so damaging that most people would never put them into words even in anger. I agree with stav a good row can clear the air.

• Taggart on January 26th, 2010 at 6:19 pm

  Hopefully we learn when we fight with loved ones, and don’t cross the boundaries that deltic mentions.

  The most hurtful things said aren’t necessarily the loudest.

• stav on January 27th, 2010 at 11:57 am

  Being a greek, a good row is like entertainment. It will start over something simople and escalate so far that we eventually end up laughing our heads off at the silliness of it all.

• deltic on January 27th, 2010 at 3:19 pm

  Stav I was struggling to understand your comment until I realised that I had misread it, I was reading geek instead of greek. The sort of row that you describe can clear the air.

• Taggart on January 27th, 2010 at 6:36 pm

  I associate the appreciation of a good row with other European backgrounds as well.

  That’s a funny misread of Greek, by the way deltic. I wonder if geeks are like that too?

• stav on January 28th, 2010 at 2:15 pm

  Taggart, Greeks, Italians, Spamiards Middle Eastern types, we all love a good row

  Deltic that comment made me laugh out loud… i’m a geek and a greek