Comments on: 4 Effective Tips To Get Over Being Cheated On – Maybe It\’s Not The Cheaters Fault

By: chantilly

chantilly — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 20:22:23 +0000

i am a married man and my wife of 11 years recently cheated on me with a neighbour. i will be quick to admit that i had cheated on her before. she took her “revenge” as she called it to another level. she was sleeping with this man in my bed every day when i was at work. when i found out she denied that they had sex but admitted that she had been talking to him.i later breached her facebook messages and confronted her with the proof at which point she had to admit the whole thing. is it different when a woman cheats? how hard is it to get over the fact that she did it in my house. and had the man driving around in her van while our 17 yr old son was there? can this be fixed?

By: deltic

deltic — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 10:00:37 +0000

I think the value of this article is that it makes you think about the issues. I disagree with a lot of what was said especially point two, but reading this has helped me to understand that if you have any hope of rebuilding the relationship you can’t walk on egg shells. The hurt and the betrayal have to be faced and addressed in order to move on and leave the episode in the past.

By: T

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:26:21 +0000

mollyL, you hit the nail on the head…cheating is cheating and whoever makes the decision to cheat is the one cheating. It is not the other person’s fault the person cheated but when they lay blame, they are just throwing distractions to get the heat off themselves.

Well said and great points!

By: mollyL

mollyL — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:09:23 +0000

Justontime is right. There’s no allocation of blame in this. Someone cheats, that makes them a cheater; they can’t go trying to assign blame. It’s all theirs.

By: justontime

justontime — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 16:11:06 +0000

Heretoday, I agree 100%. If someone makes the choice to cheat it is their fault, it can’t be blamed on anyone else. If there are issues in the relationship they should be addressed and if the relationship is over it should be ended. It is not OK to just cheat.

By: mollyL

mollyL — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:47:24 +0000

Well, it’s less complicated than having to move everything and having to pay rent…who knows, your next conquest might have a nicer house, satellite TV,etc…!

By: heretoday

heretoday — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:11:02 +0000

Oh no you didn’t say that! “Maybe it’s not the cheater’s fault?” That’s BS!
If your significant other doesn’t like something about the relationship, then they need to get off their duffs and leave! Then they can see others to their heart’s content. Cheating is cheating!

By: justontime

justontime — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:21:17 +0000

I think there is a lot of wise advice in the article, but I disagree on one point. I think it is important to make it absolutely clear how much the cheating has hurt, because the partner needs to understand that trust has been lost and it will be very hard to regain. Once that is done it is not necessary to keep going back over it. If you are going to rebuild trust you have to move forward, but both partners have to want that.

By: T

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:48:22 +0000

chris1203,

The tips are not easy to do and will come with time. As justontime has said, you are too big to sit idle and worry about revenge cause revenge will serve itself on a silver platter to your husband and to those who cheated with him knowing he was married. You won’t be able to forget what happened to you but you will be wise enough to know the difference next time it happens, if there is a next time.

He may know now that you are not the one to be cheated on and not do it again but you choose to forgive him and keep him around, you may be cautious about letting your guard down. If that becomes an issue for you then you may consider at a time appropriate to you to let him down and push him to the side. Try as long as you want to make it work but if and when you feel it won’t work for “you” then let him go his way…back to the cheating hooker he was once with. Let her deal with his cheating ass cause she cheated with him and you are better than that and her! Lol, be good to yourself girl and know you are a good woman, he can’t deal with that which is the reason he went to her…she’s no good and don’t know how to be first in a man’s life cause she chose and continues to be second, third, or whatever.

You are already true to yourself!

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:33:10 +0000

I think if you still want revenge you haven’t forgiven yet. It’s hard sometimes and takes awhile. You go through the grieving stages,but like I said when I really felt free it was because I forgave for myself to move on. Forgetting doesn’t mean you totaly forget,your just not mad about it any more. You hav a feeling of indifferance. You really don’t feel anyway about them or the situation. Thats when you know you’ve moved on AND AGAIN This mean you have more wisdom about that person so they would NEVER have the opportunity to do the same thing to you AGAIN. Fuk me once shame on you,Fuk me twice shame on me.