According to a poll conducted by WomanSavers.com, over 62% of women think that men cheat more than women. This isn’t surprising — because most of the voters were men!
Naturally, women believe that men do most of the cheating, while men will argue at women cheat “just as much as they do.”
Is this really true? Some experts say that these days, women and men do cheat in equal numbers. The difference is that men who cheat tend to be more “serial” about it — they cheat with a variety of sexual partners. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to get into a longer-term extramarital relationship.
Decades ago, men surely did most of the cheating because they had far more opportunities to do so. It is true that most affairs begin in the workplace, and back then, men were the only ones that HAD a workplace to go to. Women stayed at home and took care of the kids and the household.
Today, of course, men and women are both in the workplace and interacting with members of the opposite sex. Women are spending more time at work with their male colleagues than at home with their husbands. The workplace is also fertile ground for cheating because people tend to leave their grumpy feelings behind when they go to work. At home, people are stressed out over bills, taking care of the kids, and problems with their spouse; when they go to work, they can leave all of that behind.
Also, people tend to look their best at work. They want to look attractive and presentable. In the workplace, men see women — and women see men — in their best light.” It’s not the same when they’re at home, lounging around in a pair of sweatpants.
According to a survey, 46 percent of unfaithful wives and 62 percent of unfaithful husbands have had affairs with someone they met at work. So you see, cheating at the workplace is a very big problem — and it’s happening with both men and women.
Another interesting statistic shows that the more money a husband has, or earns, the more likely he is to cheat on his wife. Having cash enables a man to travel, to join clubs, and to take time off from work. It also enables him to purchase gifts for other women, or pay for hotel rooms and travel when they want to get together.
Men who don’t have much money tend to spend more time and attention on their families.
They have less time alone (which could otherwise be spent pursuing women), and they lack the funds to carry on affairs or take care of a mistress. But, this is not to say that the Average Joe who earns a regular wage is not going to cheat. Many of these guys do cheat, they just tend to have a harder time covering their tracks — and they often get busted.
Through my research, I’ve also found that most men who cheat aren’t looking to get involved in long-term “affairs” with one woman. In America, it’s not common for cheating men to keep a mistress on the side. It’s much more likely that they are pursuing casual sex with different women, and one-night stands.
The other big question people ask is WHY men cheat, versus why women cheat. Do men and women stray for different reasons? The common assumption is that men are ruled by their sex drives and cheat mostly for sexual gratification, while women cheat when they feel emotionally neglected.
Well, my research has shown that “neglect” is the operative word in MOST cheating situations. When men feel neglected, they cheat. When a woman feels neglected by her husband, she’ll be open to offers from other men. This neglect can come in many forms — in the bedroom, or simply not taking an active interest in your partner’s feelings and being emotionally supportive when they have troubles.
The reason why infidelity is so common in our society is that too many people place more value on their careers, children, hobbies and friends than they do on their relationships with their partners. When you neglect your relationship and your partner, it’s may be only a matter of time before they start looking for happiness elsewhere. No one wants to feel neglected.
The bottom line is this: if you want to avoid becoming yet another infidelity statistic, you must nurture your relationship on a daily basis and pay attention the warning signs, before it’s too late.
About the Author – by Dean Cortez
So who cheats more, men or women? This is a popular and controversial question. There aren’t any exact statistics available on this, and the numbers would surely be innacurate, anyway. This is because when it comes to people admitting their cheating in polls and surveys, men tend to inflate their number of affairs and sexual partners, while women tend to hide or downplay the extent of their extramarital affairs.
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I don’t see any evidence offered in this article just a lot of oppinion. I disagree with what was said about neglect. Cheats may use neglect as an excuse for their behaviour, but I think neglect is a symptom rather than the problem.
If as many people suggest men cheat more than women, who are they cheating with? I doubt that there were that free and single women around.
I agree with you Kernow it was not evidence based and neglet cuts both ways many women feel neglected too but most don’t rush out and have an affair. Neglect is just an excuse that men use to justify their cheating.
I think it’s a difficult topic to study, considering many people aren’t likely to be forthcoming about their personal experience.
For the sake of discussion, how would you know that most women who feel neglected don’t cheat?
You can’t know for sure, but I think there are ways of doing studies and preserving anonymity. But male or femail, feeling neglected is no reason to cheat, people just use it as an excuse and a way to shift the blame for what they have done.
I think Taggart has a point, studies on this will never be accurate because it is impossible to verify what people say.
I do think there are some valid points made in the article, don’t get me wrong. And at the same time even with anonymous polls, people may choose not to participate regardless of what they’ve done in their lives.
Taggart I would be interested to know what you think were valid points in the article? I think it made a lot of assumptions and it lacked any supporting evidence.
It’s interesting that the word,”neglect” I used. It immediately justifies the cheater’s being a “victim of circumstance”.
Power can also be a catalyst for cheating, and it needn’t be the powerful man bedding the less powerful mistress.
I have known women who cheated because it made THEM feel powerful, as if to say “I still own my skin and will do withit as I choose”.
Kernow, I think the early point in the article that “There aren’t any exact statistics available on this, and the numbers would surely be inaccurate, anyway” is very valid and opens a discussion from which we probably won’t agree on any hard numbers.
And for the less personally involved points that may possibly be accurately surveyed, I’d also agree that women may believe that men do most of the cheating.
It is an opportunity to go’wild and crazy’ with someone who has been sick in their head with thoughts they never shared…with their spouse about…and greedy enough to think they can and will do whatever they want…now or any time…and a ‘wonderful lesson’ to the adult children left with Mama as Dad fornicates with other women whilst married and not yet divorced…A screwball mentality, to say the least and do as I say and not as I do…to all his children’s lifelong lessons of morals and treating people right …..ffffffffffffffuuuuttttttttttt!!!!!!
out the window!
Without a dought Men. They can seperate love and sex and women attach feelings with sex more.
Of course for the women who quickly say the men…..those are the women who are cheating with them. Men won’t cheat if women don’t give the allowances to do so. That is why this site is so popular with the other women, cause they cheat WITH them. They all cheat and I don’t think one will cheat more than the others. Only the respectful ones will not cheat…men or women. Those who have no respect for themselves will cheat and don’t care about the destruction they leave behind with the family. Of course men view it as sex and can get it quickly just by saying…”I love you” and down goes the undies ladies. That equates to the woman cause the men don’t have to drop theirs: they just flip it out, slip it in, drop the load, go home, and wait for the next time. All they have to say is “I love you” and my wife won’t do me like you.
Sad but true and I love this site!
T,what the hell is your obsession with the other woman? Could you make it anymore odvious how much they piss you off and get to you? You couldn’t be anymore transparent with your insecurities and jealousy. You seem to bring up the other woman even if the thread doesn’t really have anything to do with it. NOW stop tell me what they call another man who steals a wife away from his best friend. Help me out here T. I’m a scorned man and need some guidance. I want to put a slug in the fugger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs
This is insanly insecure jealous T and her husband how she really is before this big act,after this she sobs and eats a tub of ice cream,leave it to a flaming queen like me to know the truth.
I want a pretty boy on this site,fix me up with your husbands
I think it’s equal nowadays. Years ago, I think it was men because as this post says, they were out in the workplace or away on business more. Now, we’re equal and even homemakers find a way if they want.
I don’t buy any of the ‘needs to’ garbage for the men; that’s an excuse.
i tend to think that the reason we all think men cheat more is because men get caught out more.
women are far more devious, and also the general impression is that women wouldn’t cheat, so a man takes longer to spot the signs or accept his partner could be cheating on him..
men have usually such a high self esteem, that they can’t imagine that their partner could want anyone else..
Stav you may have something there, but I find it hard to think of women cheating. I am a woman and I have never cheated so it is easy to assume that other wome would have the same values.
well said Justontime that exactly my thought process since I have never cheated but been cheated on.Usually when a woman says this it comes from her own truth no were else.like I said before men can really seperate love and sex were women connect more feeling and emotion with the act.
Hmmm, I think women cheat just about as much as men do if not more. Women are more sneaky with theirs because of their “deceptive and innocent-like” ways. They do cheat…hence the other women on the sites asking the crazy questions they do. Why would they ever think that the married man means anything he says to them? That means they are cheating and they would be the first to say they have never cheated. I don’t think they know that sleeping with or being emotionally involved with a married man or someone else’s boyfriend is cheating.
Stav and justontime,
I think they get confused when the man says “I love you” that means they are the only one,lol. It is laughable at times but women do it the wrong way, for love but are being used by the man. Tara, nothing to do with feelings but all to do with being a fool in love for all the wrong reasons with the wrong person…a married man or someone else’s boyfriend. Get real now, lol.
Gay boys cheat the most. If we’re not banging 25 guys a night then we’re considered shutins. Straight men and gay cheat equally if you got a third leg then you use it,and all men have a little gay in them anyways.
“Looks up” T why don’t you just admit you hate other women,you are so transparent in your insecurities and obsession with this “enemy” you see as the other woman. I’ve only been on here a week and I’m already over you posting constantly about the other woman even when the post doesn’t have anything to do with it you manage to bring this bubbling anger and frustration to the post. BTW let me know if your hubby wants a nice 10 inch I’ll show you about the other man GF.
I also agree with Stav,for some reason we all get caught so when gay men cheat they both get caught. I do have many female friends who’s guys have cheated.
As forward as Donald was in his posts, I think he touches on the topic of people cheating with their own sex. I had a very good friend whose wife left him and ended up with woman.
Obviously it’s hard to get accurate statistics on same-sex flings. I guess that’s just another category that could be applied to the original question.
i think it is a general perception that it is men who cheat… but actually women do it just as much.. again, with women, we are more hardwired to the faithful wife thing, and find it hard to understand why a woman would be ‘unfaithful’ and it caries a stigma…
A man who is cheating is looked at as a ’stud’ by his peers, (you dirty dog how did you snag that hot chick) whereas a woman doing the same would be a ‘whore’(you bitch, what about your husband and kids)
How about the “office affairs”? It takes two to tango (not necessarily of differing sexes), and especially medical offices, where I worked a lot of years, can be a hotbed of cheating. The doctors that do it a lot tend to hire the “bimbo” type, and these poor dummies think they’re going to “land a doctor”! Docs go thru these girls quite frequently. It never ends in marriage, at least in my experience.
molly,
You are so right with the office affairs. I think most of the “bimbos” hang around the offices to get someone they don’t have and they don’t care who it is as long as they are getting attention. Many use their backs to get the attention because that is what they are good at I guess. You are so right though when you say that it never ends in marriage because they moment they say I’m not giving him or her any more sex, they are dumped. Good point you make.
Molly, the situations that you mention in your post amount to an abuse of power. These silly young women (I guess it is mostly young women)are foolish and allow themselves to get into a situation where they are used and abused, but I would put most of the blame on the person employing them because they have all the power in the relationship.