Comments on: Finding Closure In Confronting Her Ex-Husband?

By: Halia

Halia — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 23:00:42 +0000

Thanks for all pearls of wisdom here…but define ‘out of control’ here deltic?
Stav is correct …dignity aside…having an adulterous affair is dignified how exactly? in the eyes of wife and his children, priest, family and community how is one to view adultery other than a dishonest and disgusting hobby? The scoundrelous act continues as he skulks away and is closeted from any contacted with his former family….I wonder why? Too much on the go but not enough integrity or responsibilty to admit and apologize and go forth…like the type that has an affair in the first place, correct?!Oh what a tangle web he weaved…when he first sought to decieve…:))

By: deltic

deltic — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:26:05 +0000

Good point Kernow, even if you are confident that you can remain in control of your emotions the behaviour of the others involved may be unpredictable and their actions could lead to things getting out of control.

By: kernow

kernow — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:05:03 +0000

I see Stav’s point too, but I think what you plan to happen and what really happens can be two very different things.

By: justontime

justontime — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:45:05 +0000

I can see what you mean Stav, but you hear accounts of confrontations like this ending in violence or even with the woman getting arrested. I’m not sure how calm I would be if someone had let me and my children down ao badly.

By: stav

stav — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:27:20 +0000

it works differently for everyone I guess..

I can tell them what I think of them without any loss of dignity, maybe some couldn’t, but i wouldn’t discount confronting the cheating rat.

By: justontime

justontime — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:52:26 +0000

I think she would be wise to leave well alone and retain her dignity. It is unfair but there is some truth in what Deltic days.

By: deltic

deltic — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:42:59 +0000

I don’t see it like that Stav. She would be taking them on two against one on their territory. She would shout and scream and leave feeling upset and cheapened having given him grounds to claim she is harrasing him and leaving him scope to question her judgement and capability when they get to court to argue about the children. It gives him a way of excusing his behaviour by condemning hers.

By: stav

stav — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:47:00 +0000

personally i think a little confrontation is good for the soul.. and will give the cheated wife some closure. She can call hubby a rat and the other woaman a home wrecker and flounce off dignity intact.

By: deltic

deltic — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:01:47 +0000

I wonder what happened in this case? I hope she didn’t confront him and the new woman in the way she planned. I think it would have lowered her to their level. Anything she had to say should be said in the divorce court. I hope she is starting to heal now.

By: chris1203

chris1203 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:50:20 +0000

I think that you should confront them if you’re the type that needs to get these feelings off your chest to be able to move on. Exprssing your feelings to the both of them could be very healing. But don’t be surprised if your emoional outpouring doesn’t bring you the release that you had hoped it would.