Comments on: Cherry’s Made A Decision To Leave

By: justontime

justontime — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 11:48:23 +0000

It is hard to have the confidence to make a break, but the more you put up with in terms of selfish or unkind behaviour the harder it gets to break away. Sadly that sort of behaviour becomes ‘normal’ very quickly.

By: stav

stav — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 23:57:35 +0000

I think the fear of being left alone, after 20 years with the same man is what has prevented Cherry from ditching this user before now.

Assuming she is of a similar (or maybe a little younger) age as the boyfriend, perhaps the prospect of not having a ‘boyfriend’ is more terifying than putting up with his abuses of her.

By: justontime

justontime — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:21:49 +0000

A boyfriend for 20 years, this chap is not into commitment. There must be a reason the relationship hasn’t progressed in 20 years. It sounds as if he has very little respect for her feelings.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:28:13 +0000

I think someone with a healthy level of self-esteem wouldn’t stay in a relationship like that unless they were agreeable that it wasn’t exclusive… And I don’t think that’s what Cherry is looking for. I think she has the right plan.

By: T

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:59:40 +0000

heretoday, it’s probably because he knows what he can get and that’s with most men who have these types of women. They don’t want to commit to them because of probably how they got them in the first place. They don’t mean anything to him except for a piece when he wants and how he wants. Why would they commit to such women? Unfortunate but true…it’s those kind who say that he’s my man when he’s married with a family. Their excuse then is if he was so happy then why is he with me? Well, it’s because he can use them how he wants and he knows they are okay with it. The answer to your question is stupidity.

By: mollyL

mollyL — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:19:36 +0000

That’s a good point, Taggart. Twenty years together and then not; that has to be more than frightening.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:31:28 +0000

I’m not sure the 20 year engagement was a problem for Cherry. I think the introduction of the caregiver was the problem here. I think many people would find it hard to make a change after 20 years, and that’s probably why some of them put up with some things that aren’t great.

By: heretoday

heretoday — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:34:15 +0000

You’re doing the right thing, Cherry.
However, I must ask: what is it with all these relationships of a decade or more where the woman is just a “girlfriend”? You all are being taken advantage of! Tell the jerk to commit or you’re out of there!

By: T

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:00:41 +0000

Then Cherry,

Stay at home and don’t go around him anymore. He is trying to control you and don’t give him the power to do it. You are better off without the prick who probably needs to stay home and take care of his father because he sure is not taking care of you. Let him fool around with her and ask all the questions you need to ask to get the answer you need to make the decision to leave his behind where he is…at home with his father! Good for you and keep going! Enough already, don’t let men use you because you are better than that and don’t take the pity stories to build your self esteem because you are not a pitiful woman. Stand up for yourself! It all starts with us!!!!

By: stav

stav — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:24:50 +0000

but it needs to be both comfortable… i don’t think Cherry is happy with the situation, and he is treating her badly.. he uses the ‘only negaged not married’ line to mistreat her.