Comments on: Long Distance Relationship – Trusting http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html Real Cheating and Infidelity - Stories and Advice Mon, 05 Jul 2010 10:48:39 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: chris1203 http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-145681 chris1203 Fri, 29 May 2009 16:22:27 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-145681 I think that you should take your time in this. Have you thought about visiting him so that you can talk in person. That would probably be a lot better than on the phone, and perhaps you can read the situation better in person. I think that you should take your time in this. Have you thought about visiting him so that you can talk in person. That would probably be a lot better than on the phone, and perhaps you can read the situation better in person.

]]> By: poster25 http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-145366 poster25 Mon, 25 May 2009 19:06:49 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-145366 I think that he is ready to move forward, but he is looking at both you and his ex girfriend. I think that he is ready to move forward, but he is looking at both you and his ex girfriend.

]]> By: Taggart http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-144737 Taggart Sun, 17 May 2009 13:03:26 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-144737 Long distance relationships can be very challenging if there's any source of friction, because so much weighs on the tone of the phone conversations and if they're ended on a bad note, that's the feeling that each person carries around till the next conversation. I think there may have been a lot of pressure on Melissa's boyfriend to find employment, especially in these times and it may not have been practical for her to move with him but I'm only speculating. I think it would be helpful to know if the subject's come up and if she'd be interested in relocating with him. Long distance relationships can be very challenging if there’s any source of friction, because so much weighs on the tone of the phone conversations and if they’re ended on a bad note, that’s the feeling that each person carries around till the next conversation.

I think there may have been a lot of pressure on Melissa’s boyfriend to find employment, especially in these times and it may not have been practical for her to move with him but I’m only speculating. I think it would be helpful to know if the subject’s come up and if she’d be interested in relocating with him.

]]> By: tater03 http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-144703 tater03 Sat, 16 May 2009 22:08:26 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-144703 I understand she may have been upset and not very supportive but in the end that is no reason to turn to an ex about the problems. I mean talking to the ex more then likely is only going to make it worse. I will say it does sound like he does want to try to make it work out for you two. I understand she may have been upset and not very supportive but in the end that is no reason to turn to an ex about the problems. I mean talking to the ex more then likely is only going to make it worse. I will say it does sound like he does want to try to make it work out for you two.

]]> By: Buda, Illinois » Blog Archive » Nana Osaki http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143912 Buda, Illinois » Blog Archive » Nana Osaki Thu, 07 May 2009 08:49:27 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143912 [...] Long Distance Relationship - Trusting : ID Cheaters [...] [...] Long Distance Relationship – Trusting : ID Cheaters [...]

]]> By: Lara http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143692 Lara Tue, 05 May 2009 05:19:39 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143692 Talk about projection. I heard that some of you in here were nasty, now I know the warnings were well founded. Good luck Melissa. I know you will make the right decision for yourself minus the blameshifters on this forum. Remember you were never at fault within your relationship. Please don't let anyone else on here try to bully you into thinking otherwise. Take care Talk about projection. I heard that some of you in here were nasty, now I know the warnings were well founded.

Good luck Melissa. I know you will make the right decision for yourself minus the blameshifters on this forum.

Remember you were never at fault within your relationship. Please don’t let anyone else on here try to bully you into thinking otherwise.

Take care

]]> By: justontime http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143644 justontime Mon, 04 May 2009 15:07:33 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143644 Melissa, Kernow is right, I am bowing out too, I am not willing to pick over your problems just to prove a point, I think that is in very bad taste. I hope very much that this will have a happy ending for you. Melissa, Kernow is right, I am bowing out too, I am not willing to pick over your problems just to prove a point, I think that is in very bad taste. I hope very much that this will have a happy ending for you.

]]> By: kernow http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143641 kernow Mon, 04 May 2009 14:54:17 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143641 Melissa, I am just going to wish you well. I have offered my best advice and I am not going to disrespect you by arguing about your situation with someone who is determined to be right and to have the last word. However things work out for you I wish you the very best for the future. Melissa, I am just going to wish you well. I have offered my best advice and I am not going to disrespect you by arguing about your situation with someone who is determined to be right and to have the last word. However things work out for you I wish you the very best for the future.

]]> By: Lara http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143589 Lara Sun, 03 May 2009 21:45:19 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143589 Reading between the lines Melissa did not get much of a say in her boyfriends decision. Clearly his move has had an enourmous effect on her, that is understandable. They were already living together as a couple and he suddenly decides to uproot and leave her for work back in his home town. He should have discussed things with her properly beforehand. Whilst it is admirable to you both that he has made the big move to find work, you both fail to see the consequences behind the scenes for Melissa. A little compassion towards her plight and pain would not go astray. Melissa would have had to carry on paying for the rent and all other amenities in his absence. I say she has a right to feel hard done by in that instance. How would any of you feel if your partner suddenly up and left you in the lurch? Please be aware that we do not fully know what has happened behind closed doors. He could have tried harder to find a job where he was living before turning her life upside down. Try to think of it from her perspective. She is not to blame here at all. Melissa has been in a relationship with this man for nine months, that is a reasonable amount of time to become attached to someone. Just because she may have only spent "a couple" of those months actually living with him does not lesson her loss. I did clearly state that Melissa "has a lot to consider before making such a move" in order to be with him. However if he is not prepared to move back to California to be with her it is something she needs to give some serious consideration. Long distance relationships very rarely workout. If they both love another then one of them eventually needs to make the sacrifice long term. Again Melissa I wish you luck, take your time. You both need to be on solid ground with any issues and talking face to face is your first step. Take care. Reading between the lines Melissa did not get much of a say in her boyfriends decision. Clearly his move has had an enourmous effect on her, that is understandable. They were already living together as a couple and he suddenly decides to uproot and leave her for work back in his home town. He should have discussed things with her properly beforehand.

Whilst it is admirable to you both that he has made the big move to find work, you both fail to see the consequences behind the scenes for Melissa. A little compassion towards her plight and pain would not go astray.

Melissa would have had to carry on paying for the rent and all other amenities in his absence. I say she has a right to feel hard done by in that instance.

How would any of you feel if your partner suddenly up and left you in the lurch?

Please be aware that we do not fully know what has happened behind closed doors.

He could have tried harder to find a job where he was living before turning her life upside down.

Try to think of it from her perspective.
She is not to blame here at all.

Melissa has been in a relationship with this man for nine months, that is a reasonable amount of time to become attached to someone. Just because she may have only spent “a couple” of those months actually living with him does not lesson her loss.

I did clearly state that Melissa “has a lot to consider before making such a move” in order to be with him. However if he is not prepared to move back to California to be with her it is something she needs to give some serious consideration. Long distance relationships very rarely workout. If they both love another then one of them eventually needs to make the sacrifice long term.

Again Melissa I wish you luck, take your time. You both need to be on solid ground with any issues and talking face to face is your first step.

Take care.

]]> By: kernow http://www.idcheaters.com/2009/04/long-distance-relationship-trusting.html/comment-page-1#comment-143566 kernow Sun, 03 May 2009 14:23:11 +0000 http://www.idcheaters.com/?p=883#comment-143566 If people ask for advice they deserve the truth and constructive comment is NOT attacking someone. This is a fairly short relationship, only 9 months in total. They have hardly lived together so it would not be a strong basis for Melissa to uproot herself to be with him. I feel strongly that she made a big mistake in being unsupportive when he had to move to get work. It was making both of them unhappy. Melissa, by all means try to make it work, but please don't move until you are absolutely sure that you have a future with him and that it is what you both want. If people ask for advice they deserve the truth and constructive comment is NOT attacking someone. This is a fairly short relationship, only 9 months in total. They have hardly lived together so it would not be a strong basis for Melissa to uproot herself to be with him. I feel strongly that she made a big mistake in being unsupportive when he had to move to get work. It was making both of them unhappy. Melissa, by all means try to make it work, but please don’t move until you are absolutely sure that you have a future with him and that it is what you both want.

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