21 Responses

• tater03 on April 14th, 2009 at 11:14 am

  Is he willing to work it out at all? If not there really is not a lot you can do by yourself to make this relationship work. I am really sorry that he has dumped this on you so suddenly.

• deltic on April 14th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  I’m sorry you must be feeling very shocked. You can’t make him love you or respect you, I hope I am wrong about this but it sounds as if he doesn’t want to make it work.

• justontime on April 14th, 2009 at 2:29 pm

  I think deltic may be right, I’m sorry. Let your friends support you, you will find the strength to cope.

• kernow on April 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

  I don’t know how this is going to work out, he has treated you very badly. Think hard about this, do you really still want him?

• Katharina on April 15th, 2009 at 7:23 am

  I’m so sorry to hear of your pain. I’m afraid I have to agree with what your friends told you. It isn’t a matter of him begging for forgiveness because he already said he doesn’t love you and that’s so mean of him.

  I hope you’ll be able to find some self repect for yourself and find a man who will treasure you as you should be treasured.

• tater03 on April 15th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

  The first few months or so are the hardest but you will get thorough it and probably realize it is for the best. Right now I know you don’t see that though.

• justontime on April 16th, 2009 at 5:47 am

  I just want to reassure you that life can get better again. It will take time to get over the way this man has used you, but there are good people around to support you, and perhaps one day you will find someone who truly loves and respects you.

• Katharina on April 16th, 2009 at 6:59 am

  I want to second what the last two posters said. It feels to you right now that it couldn’t possibly get better… but as time passes, you’ll start noticing that each day or each week is a little better than the one before.

• tater03 on April 16th, 2009 at 3:54 pm

  Wait until you find that person that treats you the way you should be treated. You will think back on this and wonder what you seen in this man.

• kernow on April 17th, 2009 at 7:18 am

  I know it feels devastating to you now, but even if you could make him stay, you could not trust him, he would do this again

• justontime on April 17th, 2009 at 7:39 am

  It sounds to me as if he really isn’t worth clinging on to. A man who would treat you like that once would cheat again.

• Katharina on April 18th, 2009 at 5:24 am

  The worst part to me isn’t even that he was chatting with someone else… it’s that he said he doesn’t love you anymore.

  I can’t see where there’s any going back. Even if he’d “pretend” for a while, this cycle would probably start all over again.

• tater03 on May 17th, 2009 at 5:53 am

  I would agree with you that the worst part is that he stated “he doesn’t love you anymore.” That is a real red flag. I hope that you are feeling somewhat better now.

• Taggart on May 18th, 2009 at 5:55 am

  I think there’s some excellent advice from the posts above. I hope you find peace of mind with this over time.

  It’s hard to imagine now, but through time it’s possible to heal these wounds. I think your recovery starts with letting go, as hard as that must seem.

• gladys on May 20th, 2009 at 11:32 am

  I tell you something…I am also a filipina married to an Italian American Israeli.We are now 7 years together. Just more than a year ago, I have experienced the same…My husband cheated on me and I was devastated when I found out.The worst of all he even brought the woman in our house while I was in the philippines.She stayed in our house and assumed my role as the wife for a month…and my husband admitted it all.My friends saw her coming and going to and from our house …our house which is the sanctuary of our marriage…binaboy niya buhay ko at pati na bahay ko…imagine that? imagine how painful it was for me? Kabayan ikaw nga e sa internet lang sila nagkakilala as I understood in your story…Yong asawa ko e kasamahan niya sa organization na sinasalihan niya…So they were together while I was at work..nagkakape sila,naglalakad sila sa beach ganun which we seldom did. In short nagkaroon na sila ng malalim na unawaan kasi nga lagi silang nagkikita without my knowledege so nung nalaman ko nadepress.Kaakibat ng depression ang di pagtulog at pagkain at lagi kang tulala umiiyak…Ganun ba nararamdaman mo? Well natural na reaction yan pero huwag mong hayaang igupo ka ng depression alalahanin mo may anak kayo…Nung di ko na makayanan ang lahat e kinausap ko ng puso sa puso ang asawa ko at sinabi ko sa kanya na kung yung babaeng yun ang makapagpapaligaya sa kanya then I let you go and if everything will not work out fine then just come back to me…Even if it will take me a lifetime to wait I will wait for you …that was exactly what \I told him . After that conversation I felt so good and I slept well knowing that I cant do anything if he will really leave me for another woman…So I already accepted the fact that I lost him…then when he woke up he talked to me once more and said no Im not leaving this is my home this is our home this is where I belong…so from then on he stayed and just dumped the other woman just like a garbage…and now we are happier than ever…I have forgiven him although I cant forget what happened…Once in a while it still coming back to me. because of the effort my husband is exerting in making our marriage work again after his cheating,I learned to accept that marriage is full of struggles.We need to know how to handle things as they come.In so doing you will come out victorious or yet a better person…God is with you kabayan! He will not give you a problem that He knows you cant handle..Kaya mo yan kabayan..kinakailangan lang alam mo kung paano ang gagawin mo para itama ang mali at isaayos ang dapat isaayos..kung talagang di na kayo para sa isa’t isa then let it go.maybe that way lalo niyong mamahalin ang isa’t isa pag magkalayo kayo…talk to him kung paano ang gagawin niyo sa mga anak niyo and you need to set him free if you really love him…If he comes back then he is really meant for you…its not the end of everything..maybe this is just the start of a new beginning for both of you…

• poster25 on May 27th, 2009 at 5:02 pm

  I am sorry that you are hurting, but it appears that he does not want to continue the relationship. It hurts now, but you are really going to be much better off without him.

• Me on May 31st, 2009 at 3:02 pm

  If he was going to dump you he would have already. He is just talking crap and you fell for it. If he tells you he dont love you no more, grow a spine and tell him to leave. Call his bluff and keep a poker face so no crying in front of him. You need to be able to see past the fluff hes throwing at you. Make no mistake a man knows exactly what he wants and if he really wanted this girl he would be gone. He actually wants you but you are boring to him. But since he wants to be a jackass, tell him to go. He is playing games. You actually have the upper hand but you cant see that because you are an emotional wreck. And once you stop crying go see a lawyer or go on a vacation with your girlfriends. Dont let him see what he is doing to you. He will only get worse. Show him you have spine even at 100 pounds and that you will not put up with his crap.

• chris1203 on June 6th, 2009 at 8:23 am

  Unfortunately, it seems that you don’t have a choice in the matter. Your husband sounds like he is leaving you. In that case, be gentle on yourself. You are not going to get over this easily. It takes time and many months. But you will get through it.

• Taggart on October 24th, 2009 at 9:52 am

  I agree with chris1203, in that if it’s inevitable, then the best thing is to accept that fully as soon as possible. Rui, I’m sure you can find happiness elsewhere if this is meant to end.

• T on October 24th, 2009 at 5:54 pm

  You know Me, you are absolutely correct! No crying in front of him, tell him to kiss your ass and then go see the lawyer. If he wants to straighten up then call his bluff and see what he is about. He does not want the other woman, just an opportunity to have some fun with her because he does not want to disrespect you. This is why other women are chosen, so the men can do with and to them what he doesn’t want to do to his wife.

  That is the role of other women but if he wants to go to her then let him go and tell him to stay gone. Don’t let him see you cry though cause then he thinks he has you to treat any way he wants. Tell him to kiss off and get going then as Me said, go on a vacation with your girlfriends or to the lawyer cause you do have the upper hand. He is the cheater and you have the proof and if all else fails, call that hooker in to help you get rid of him and then get the half or all you will be entitled to since she helped him cause you the pain.

  Be good only to you!

• Orrymain on October 27th, 2009 at 2:21 am

  I hope that by now you’ve found some peace about everything, regardless of how it worked out.