The first reason to get out of a bad relationship is for the emotional health and well-being of both parties. Another reason is to make sure that the emotions and arguments that often exist in such a relationship does not escalate to physical violence by either party. Staying together despite your current situation and ignoring the fact that there is a problem is often delaying the inevitable. By doing so, you are actually committing an act of selfishness and egotism.
A sure sign of a depleting relationship is that one or both partners expect either to make the other happy or for their partner to make them happy. The essential problem is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner.
Love
Love is, quite simply something we give, not something we receive. People fall in love for many different reasons. When you find love it can make anything seem possible. Being in love should not mean you give these things up. In such relationships, individuals are robbed of several essential freedoms; the freedom to be their best selves in the relationship, the freedom to love the other person through choice rather than through dependency, and the freedom to leave a situation that is destructive. Some stay together out of misguided love for a person who will never be right for him or her. You try to convince yourself that no one else out there would love you, and so you settled. So, instead of focusing on the celebration of love and partnership, it becomes a game of how to protect yourself from loss.
Abusive
The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is that in healthy relationships, the couple works towards the relationship equally. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. No matter how low you feel right now and no matter how impossible that might seem you CAN get over a bad relationship and move on.
Problems
Courageously face your own problems and shortcomings. Many times, anger, mistrust, and other powerful negative emotions cause serious problems and these emotions can lead to physical confrontations. This lack of communication is what makes the problems grow in the early stages and furthermore, what makes them hugely difficult to deal with in the end stages of the relationship. Relationship problems cannott be solved with yelling and screaming .
The problems in a relationship may come from:
* sex * money * quality time * control * outside influences * personal issues * infidelity * fear * listening to and supporting each other
All of the above problems can be addressed, perhaps not solved but at least addressed, through communication with each other.
Health hazards
The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include:
* severe headaches * back pain * stomachaches caused by anger and frustration * insomnia * melancholy caused by emotional distress * weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns * depression.
Leave and walk away?
Often, the dynamic in such relationships leaves at least one of the partners feeling worthless, which makes it harder to gain the courage and confidence to leave and forge out alone. When you are attempting to leave a dangerous relationship, that is NOT the time to be secretive. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them. It’s a situation that leaves both partners in divorce or break up limbo — a perilous situation that obstructs growth and self-awareness.
Picking up the pieces of your life after a bad relationship is a challenge, and this is what keeps many people from getting out. The person who gets hurt is the one who wants the relationship to work the most. A bad relationship is characterized by needs never being met, continued frustration and feeling for a potential that is always out of reach. It is often very hard to end a love relationship even when you know it is bad for you. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, loving friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile, worthy person again, and you’ll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you so that you can make your break up process easy.
About the Author – Nora Jeanne Hirsu loves to write about women’s and relationship issues. If you really want to know the secrets to fix your relationship and bring the love back, you MUST seek help NOW! Bring back the spark in your relationship because you deserve it! Join her at http://www.howtogetyourexback-talk.com/blog/
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There were some very good points in this article, it certainly gave me plenty to think about.
I agree that supportive loving friends are very important in helping you to recover self respect after a bad relationship.
I think this was a helpful article with some thought provoking points and some helpful advice.
Yes this is an interesting piece, it made me look at certain things in a new light.
I’ve known of a couple of marriages that have ended abruptly when one of the partners has just packed up and left. In those cases, I think the end results were positive although the means of getting them were difficult for the person left behind.
I think the most serious and potentially difficult cases involve physical danger from a spouse.
Very good article. I am living in the same house with my ex-husband, a man that just won’t let me go. I think I stay out of guilt and obligation and (perhaps) a little love…but I always feel so drained my him. I’m going to follow the guidance of this article and GET OUT.
I am surprised this article did not attract more comments, it gave a lot to think about and I found it very helpful. In some relationships there has to be a point where one person decided enough is enough, but it is hard to know when it is time to give up.
It takes a lot of courage to stand up and say, that’s enough and get away. Chris, I hope you find the strength to make it.
You are right Stav, it does take a lot of courage, and some people never find the strength to break away.
with the right support from your family and friends you could cope better. Some people just don’t get that support.
It must be incredibly hard for people who do not have that sort of support.
My own case is diferent i realy need pples opinion, i met dis guy 18 monts now no job n he moved to my house at first we are in love but i started findin out dat he lied to me most time, he wil apologies n promise he wnt lie to me again which he stil continue. He got job 4 six mont now n lied abt not been paid till i found out. Iv cal it quit now, even my family is expectin us to marry. But my problem is dat im 8wk pregnant now n im tinkin if i shu keep it or not pls help
I am in a bad relationship & have been for a long time. It got physical at one point but I still can’t seem to leave him. I know it’s unhealthy & that I need to get out. But, it’s not that easy.