POSTED BY KANISHA – A READER CONTRIBUTED STORY
i think my fiance is cheating because you kniow he says he wanna marry me and be with me but is it true like he said he going out clubbing with a old friend which still likes him and also has 10 girls going out with them no tell me how does that sound because its like i dont know what he be doing im in school and he at home so i wanna know what should i do
Your Plan: Work it out
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Is your partner is cheating on you and you don't know what to do? Tell us your story and ask for our reader's advice.
Honestly, why does he feel the need to go out without you. I think that he should be going out when you can be included. I personally would let him know that you are not happy with him going out with other girls. Now as to if he is cheating. That is really hard to call just based on the fact that he is going out.
When it comes to this I say really listen to your gut instinct. You know him the best and if you feel he may be cheating on you you need to find out.
It sounds as if there are some significant trust issues here. Are you sure you should be contemplating marriage?
I think you really have to follow your instincts here. Lack of trust is not a good foundation for a marriage
I have always said through experience without trust you have nothing. When you don’t trust your partner it brings up a whole host of issues and problems.
Tater that is very wise advice, and you are absolutely right that when trust is gon there is very little left.
Thank you, I just have expierenced a relationship without trust and it didn’t end well. Mainly due to the fact that I couldn’t trust him and couldn’t get the trust back.
Once trust has been lost it is very difficult to get it back however hard you try
Clearly there is an issue of trust here, but there also seem to be communication issues and lack of respect. He is going out and enjoying himself but he is not thinking about your needs.
I agree with you that there is more of a one sided aspect in that he seems to go out from what is stated when you cannot go. Do you guys go out when you are home at all?
Have you tried talking to him about going out together? Even if it’s with other people in a big group, it would be nicer if you could go too. Is the lack of trust down to previous experience, low confidence or has this man given you good reason not to trust him before? I would ask yourself these questions and consider if marriage is the right thing to do at this point.
I agree with the other posters about the trust issue, but also about his going out on his own. I think he should plan for the two of you to do things together instead of going off on his own.
And following your gut instinct is very important before it’s too late and you find you have the same issues after you’re married.
Katharina is right about following your instinct, if you have reason to doubt take a very close look at what is going on.
I trust my instincts, if I feel that there is something not quite right, I follow it up. Usually there is a reason fot those nagging doubts.
Why can’t he party with you around?
He’s going out with an old friend who still likes him…..who is also bringing other girlfriends with her? And you can’t go with him? This does not sound right to me.
Does this sound right to you? Listen closely!
I think that you already know everything that you need to know. He does not seem very committed to you at all. Listen to you instincts and “kick him to the curb.”
I think it’s hard to tell what may be going on from the information you’ve provided.
It could be a harmless friendship with the others. Being engaged or married shouldn’t mean that someone can’t socialize with others, although those situations sometimes lead to problems. Is there a specific reason you’re reluctant to trust him?
If you marry him then he will have a servant at home (you) to do all his chores while he goes out and parties with other women. Is that what you want? To be his maid?
i been wit my fiance for a long time. we was on and off while in highschool cuz he was always cheating on me but since we graduated we been together for 3 strong years but he dont want me to touch his fone he act like he hiding sumthin cuz he’s always sneaking to check it and he has a female name in it as a guy’s name and was txt her “goodmorning beautiful” he said he put her name as that cuz he knew i would clown on him but she’s just an older lady from work yea rite what should i do? im not marying nobody i cant trust
Actually, it would be kind of odd if he went out clubbing with an old female friend but wasn’t comfortable if you were there – I assume that’s the situation?
I agree, it looks like he may not be on the level with you.
Go back and read what Poster25 wrote, it sums up the situation very well. I am sure your instincts are right.