1. If you are not now involved in the lives of your children, you are not getting custody from a judge. If you\’re a working parent who lets your spouse handle all the details of parenting, you\’re not ready to win custody. You should change your goals or change your parenting. If you really want custody, get involved now – in all aspects of the lives of your children. Get involved in teaching your children. Respond to events of your plan for further studies. Bring the doctor and dentist. Professionals are familiar with and what your children are involved with them?
2. Make sure you\’re not exposing your children to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. Are you involved in another relationship? Was there more than one? Be very careful about exposing your children to your classmates. Many judges, professionals and other parents object to children who are subjected to other relationships too early in the process. More importantly, if you really want to win in the custody, must be because you want to spend time with your children parenting them. Spending time with someone else when you have children is a recipe for losing at custody in court.
3. Place the other parent of your children when children are with you – consciously or subconsciously? Yes, stop. One sure way to lose at custody is to hurt the relationship of children with the other parent. A judge will consider whether a parent promotes or prevents the other parent\’s access to and relationship with the children when seeking custody.
4. The win at custody requires that you save a schedule for everything. You need to look back and remember details when it comes time to the custody of the litigage. If you do not know when you had children, what events meritorious, or where you were or allof the times your husband was not fit for selection up or drop, which only hurt your own case. You can keep track on your own schedule, with your own journal, or a system which schedules professionally managed. We provide access to a system that makes professional calendars for custody cases on our Web site at http://www.millenniumdivorce.com/custody-planner.asp.
5. Be the time is the time … …. Being the time. Few issues cause so much conflict as a parent to be persistent or falling behind in taking children. Disturbs judges, creates discussion with your ex or soon to be ex, and stress out to children. Thus, the time being. 6. Be flexible. If the other parent wants to switch weekends or weekdays, do it if you can manage your schedule. When the time comes to tell the judge why you should have custody, you can tell the judge you\’re the parent who makes sure that the hours worked. In a close case, unlike this year.
7. Do not involve your children in the issues that are pending before the court or with lawyers. The courts generally very opposed to children who know the details of what are essentially adult issues. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them – it is. Children can see a psychologist and / or attorney or other professional if the court directs that. Children can talk to these people about your case – you should not give you the details, especially if giving the details involves denigrating the other parent. 8. The win in the custody requires a view of another very important factor: where do the children want to live. Not a good idea to train your children in this edition. Will have a chance to say what they want to court, his lawyer or a psychologist. However, it is a good idea to know what he wants. If you want to live with his father, you should not spend all your time and money pursuing custody, unless you believe is unsafe or inappopriate for children to live with that parent.
9. You must be prepared to demonstrate why the other parent of your children should not have custody. Thus, you need to keep track of whether that parent is the time involved, and flexible schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues that affect their ability to care for children or attachments of alcohol or drugs, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can affect custody determinations include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and epxosure of these children to the relationship, proper supervision of children, and ensure that children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and a dentist when needed. 10. Above all, use good lawyer and be open and honest with your attorney. Listen to your lawyer, not a friend or relative who are uncertain about what to do because he had a friend or relative who got a better deal. If you are paying your lawyer, listen to what he or she has to say.
About the Author – DeeeCup
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There were some good points in the article but it was hard to read because of the poor use of English. The children should be the top priority, they are not posessions to fight over.
I agree that there are good tips in the article but sadly so many are not always worried about the best interests of the child but more just as using them as a tool to hurt the other in the relationship.
I agree that this article is very hard to read. The points are good, but it should stree the needs of the child much more clearly.
The one thing I always say and I hope that if it ever happens that I would put my children first and remember that there are two parents and my children will benifit from a relationship with both of us.
Tater if only more parents thought like that, too many young peeople are left feeling confused and abandoned, and that can do lasting damage.
I agree deltic, too often the children are the bigest loosers when a couple split up. It is so unfair on them.
I so agree that the children should come first. This does bring up some good tips. I am just glad I haven’t had this problem.
Thankfully haven’t had this problem with my own children, but I am a step parent and I have seen how difficult it is for my step children at times.
I find it sad that the parents forget that the children are experiencing their own feelings concerning a divorce and then the parents go and add more by fighting about them like they are pawns.
The children’s experiences during and after divorce can do lasting damage to their self esteem and can cause them problems long into the future. The need to know that their parents love them even if they do not love each other anymore.
riskey58 you make a very good point about children’s feelings being lost in all the argument. I know we have mediation etc but I think as soon as solicitors get involved it is about winning and there is no incentive to resolve things quickly (the longer it takes the more they earn). They may pay lip service to the needs of the children, but so often the children are emotionally damaged by what is happening
I think it the end some divorces bring out such bitterness and money aspects that everything else gets lost.
Money is a big issue, but to some extent I think it becomes all about power and about punishing the other person. Somewhere along the line they lose sight of the children’s needs.
Yes, it seems to be about power and about coming out on top. I really don’t know how to avoid it when the people involved are both feeling hurt and angry.
I watched the divorce of an acquaintance a number of years ago… and many of these things came up.
I hate to say it, but a judge does NOT always have the best interest of the children in mind. In the case I know, the mother was an abuser and was in police records and CPS records as being an abuser. The dad was a medical professional and did everything he could for the kids.
Unfortunately the judge went by the old “always better with the mother” thing… even after the court appointed *guardian* for the children recommended they live with the dad!
Ludicrous, but people just can’t control these things very often and a list of “how to win custody” may not work the way you intend it to work.
I would have to agree that it comes out of being hurt and almost like a way to get revenge. It’s just sad.
Considering that so many people get divorced and so many children are involved in divorce it its about time we found a more civilised and less confrontational way of dealing with it by now.
Sounds like an ideal solution, kernow, but I can’t for the life of me imagine what type of thing that would be. There doesn’t seem to be an easy or better way.