These reasons are usually linked with women\’s ability to develop social networks that allow them to get the support, advice and help they need while men often do not have these things and try to be stoic in the face of a massively changed life with emotional turmoil building inside them. Marriage problems and the divorce often lead to one prominent emotional issue which is depression.
While there are enormous numbers of books written on depression you can find some good practical advice you can use straight away include:
Breaking down your problems into smaller pieces – Sometimes the divorce and problems after the event all pile up and can become unbearable making it depressing and overwhelming. Since there is no way back and no way out though you must start sorting your issues into smaller manageable chunks and just work at one at a time or the task may seem to be too much.
Do not focus on the negatives – This is probably the hardest thing to do when you are depressed and it is impossible to stop thinking about negative things. However to lessen the problems you must find good things and focus on them even if they seem too small to make a difference against the negatives. The trick is though it is like breaking your problems into smaller chunks … after a while you have collected enough good positive feelings, thoughts and emotions that they can start to make an impact … never let go of the good things and actions you take!
Have a goal – Men are very good at setting goals to achieve and we are biologically built to solve problems. Sometimes we do this in the most inappropriate way mind you but if we have the right tools we can build anything! With this in mind even if depression does strike you having something to do is important, it could be a life goal, an emotional goal or even a physical goal it does not matter. Achieving something makes men feel good at helps again depression and negative thinking.
About the Author – James Fargo
For more advice by a man who has been through a messy divorce, depression and a whole host of other problems and has built a roadmap to recovery for men after divorce click below to find out more.
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Thank you, it is good to remember that men get hurt too. Cheating and betrayal can be every bit as hard for men to deal with.
I never really thought about it but you are right that you see a lot of how a woman deals and manages a divorce but hardly how it effect the man. I think this probably stems back to the gender issues.
Yes, I think gender issues play a part in this. Many men are still very uncomfortable about talking about their feelings.
I think we should be more aware of the effects of a break up on a man. They have all the same emotions as women but possibly not the same support networks.
I agree that sometimes we tend to always just thing about the womans feeling and forget that the man can be hurt just as bad.
I think there is still an unspoken taboo about men showing painful emotions, it is something that we should change because it isn’t healthy.
Men feel the pain of a break up just as acutely as women, even if we don’t see them shead tears we should try to be supportive.
I think it is harde for men to ‘own’ their feelings. I don’t think they are as used to talking about their feelings as women, and they may not have the same sort of support system around them.