Comments on: Dating A Married Man

By: zobo

zobo — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:19:40 +0000

Hi
I’ve read everybodys comments and have to say I myself am involved with a married man. I did not know in the beginning he was married, I had to work this out for myself as so many things ‘didnt add up’ I know the right thing to do would be to end it, he lied to me in the beginning as he said he’d been divorced 18 months!! I just dont know if id have the strength to finish it, how do i do it?? I think about doing it then think if i do what if he was going to leave her like he said he would and i didnt give it that chance. im so confused, does anybody have any advice. Hes let me down again tonight as we were meant to be going out however 1 phone call later im now staying in as his wife has left him a voicemail telling him to ‘get home!!’ What should I do? Please anyone, id be grateful for your comments x

By: kernow

kernow — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:20:04 +0000

Bkspce, I really hope things work out for you, but hang on to that caution. My husband hasn’t beeb married before, but he does have ‘history’. I knew all about it from the start and I thought I understood, but it has taken several years for me to really get the full picture of what I am dealing with. We are still together and mostly we are happy, but I had no idea it was going to be such a challenging and sometimes painful process of discovery and understanding. As long as you are prepared to face the unexpected you should be OK.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:08:52 +0000

It sounds like you have quite a bit of experience in the situation, from different perspectives.

I’d share the advice to be careful to everyone – And it’s good to hear that you’re in a positive place.

By: Bkspce

Bkspce — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 23:31:00 +0000

Taggart… yes, my situation is very positive. I know there are a lot of people out there wanting to say what an ass hole a man is for doing what he did to his wife or what a terrible person you are for falling in love with a married man. You know, there are people who never find love. I have felt true love and I thank God for that because he is the only man I have really loved. Yes! I really can love!

There is always two sides to every story. So about my guy. I am tired of saying “my guy” so I am going to call him T. I know what T did to remedy his messed up situation was selfish and immature. We have talked a lot about it and I to this day don’t understand why he made the decisions that he did, I will never. However, I know he was hurting because of his choices… he went back and tried to make it work. I left him completely alone and went about my business, positively.

After the initial break down, I glued myself together and with my head held high, self respect intact, I moved on. Amazing things happened to me because of it….. I have been on both sides of this issue. The OW and the wife who was cheated on. I understand all of it. I know what I did to help cause the demise of my marriage and why he ran to another woman. I understand what it is to be the other woman, even though I had no idea I was, and being in love with the man of my dreams and how hurtful it can be when you hear that he just doesn’t know. I understand the husband and how he is feeling because of being in love with someone else and feeling the confusion of it all.

It is very difficult to get the whole story in these posts. If anyone wants to hear the rest of my story and how it is ending, you may contact me directly. Please don’t abuse my email address, I am giving it to those who could use a hug today and in an honest attempt to help heal a broken heart whether you are the OW, the wife or the husband. Find me at uto_p_a@yahoo.com

Good luck to you all and I wish the happiest happy for everyone.

By: justontime

justontime — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:22:44 +0000

I’m sorry but deltic is right to be cautious. You may think you know and trust him, but please take things very slowly and be very cautious about this man.

By: deltic

deltic — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:14:15 +0000

I’m sorry, but I have to share some words of caution. A man who will treat his wife like that will not thik twice about treating you in the same way. How can you be sure there are not other women and other promises? If he is going to leave his wife and children let him do that and get a divorce before you think of a relationship. Then if you decide you want him, take things very slowly or you may live to regret it.

By: Taggart

Taggart — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:05:23 +0000

Bkspce… From what I read of your situation, you seem to be in a place where you can make a decision about being with him, after he’s taken some positive steps toward a life with you. I realize it’s tough to get the whole picture in brief posts, but it sounds very positive at your end, right?

By: chris1203

chris1203 — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:57:06 +0000

I know that this is very hard for you today, but I think that you should start withdrawing from the situation. If he really wants you he will leave his wife. If he doesn’t (leave his wife OR love you) it’s better that you find that out now.

By: deltic

deltic — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 18:08:12 +0000

Taggart, you make an interesting point. Are there any statistics on this? It is hard to be sure when I have never been in the situation, but I can’t imagine that I would ever contemplate dating a married man, I just think it is wrong. If he was divorced I would still be very cautious because I wouldn’t want to get involved with someone with a lot of ‘baggage’.

By: Bkspce

Bkspce — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 14:32:27 +0000

Hello again… Update. from my original post, the man I’m in love with went through a lot (I’ll leave the gory out)… I left him and left him alone. I dated other men, I live my life as a functioning person (he isn’t the only man that walks this earth) I have an enormous amount of self respect and esteem and I know I don’t need a man to be happy. He went to mediation and has since followed through with his divorce. He is still in love with me and wants to have a life together, committed. The thing is…. it’s my decision if I want that with him or anyone else. Interesting isn’t it…. how our choices make all the difference in the world. Be strong and don’t compromise yourselves. Much love to you hurting.