POSTED BY MATT – A READER CONTRIBUTED STORY
At this point I turned inside and walled up my emotions as a way not to become enraged and focused nore and more on my job. My wife\’s focus was focused on the children (cooperative stage). About 2 months ago my wife admitted to me! that she had an affair with her ex boyfriend. She had been speaking with him for the past couple of years but kept telling me they were only friends. I trusted her until recently with the discovery of multiple calls to him per day (since Dec 2007) and being informed by one of her girlfriends that she had left with him one night from the bar. When I confronted her she denied it but I asked her to stop communicating with him. She said no and that they were just friends.
After 2 weeks of additional \”proof\” she finally admitted that she \”crossed the line\” but did not actually have intercourse with him. She said one night it was kissing then another a bit more (she claims she broke down and cried and that it did not go farther). I have all of the cell phone records and they do not seem to add up to just two meetings. I do love her and the kids and want to keep the family together and feel I can and have forgiven this but cannot seem to forget. This may be due to my not believing the story but can\’t stop obsessing/picturing them together. It seems like our whole marriage (14 years) is broken along with my heart. She is very remoresful and says she is sorry and it will never happen again. We are seeing a marriage councilor together and are both focused on rebuiling the marriage. Most days are good (better than ever), sex is the best it has ever been, I love her but the memmory is still fresh and I keep slipping into the thoughts.
I have tried not to bring this up any more (we have talked alot over the first month) and want to try to forgive and forget and not continually bring it up. It is painful for both of us. I do admit to contributing to the state of the marriage and we are both working on addressing the issues that lead to this situation. I do not, however, accept any of the blame for the choice made to have an affair.
My challenge is that some days I just want to aks her once and for all to come clean (she may be telling the truth all along but I still harbor doubts) and other days I just want to focus on rebuilding what we have and not keep bringing up the affair. On the days I want to talk I also keep thinking about the possibility of life after marriage but would not want to end what we have/had. I love my wife and family too much.
MATT\’S PLAN IS TO WORK IT OUT.
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I understand your predicament. Once a certain line is crossed, you cannot erase it from your mind. You also won’t trust her because someone (her???) says you should. My advice is just to take your time, relax, and see what happens.
I think you have been too accepting. Insist that her parents move out, if necessary give them formal notice to do so. Then you may have a chance of rebuilding your relationship, but it will take time and if you have doubts about her honesty you need to say so, without trust it can not work.
I don’t know that having the parents in the house is a good, at all. It allows the wife to slip back into high school fantasy behavior too easily as that dynamic has to be playing somewhere in her subconscious with the parents being in the home.
It is time to put your foot down. She has to either be married to you, or living with her parents.
I would have a hard time repairing a marriage if I felt the spouse had a convenient escape valve like this.
I guess you cannot treat or look at your wife in the same way before you discovered about her affair. Forgive and forget only occurs in fairytale and we are not living in one.
Are her parents doing anything to improve their financial status? Do you have to buy food for them and pay all the bills? If they are doing nothing to improve their situation, you are only fooling yourself in thinking they may move out anytime soon.
I can totally understand your situation. It is very hard to deal with infidelity and still try to work it out. So, try to forget i, shake it out of your brain, and keep focused on the LOVE you feel for her.
You are dealing with too much on your plate right now. You need to step back and prioritize. The first step is to insist that the parents move out, help set them in their own place if need be. You and your wife need to get back on track and the only way to do this is if the focus is on the two of you as a couple. You need to rediscover why you fell in love in the first place and try and find that again. The parents being there is not helping you to stay focused on your wife. Infidelity can be overcome. She seems genuinely sorry and you must insist that ALL contact with the ex-boyfriend be stopped. This is for your own sanity and no other reason. And if she wants the marriage to continue she should whole-heartedly agree to this. The goal is to make you feel secure in her love again and the only way to do this is for her to be totally committed to you.
I hope you can work this out. Good luck!
Your wife may also be feeling overwhelmed by her parents being there but feel quite guilty about asking them to go since they are her parents. You may want to look at this aspect when renewing your love for her.
I agree with the poster who said forgive and forget happens only in fairytales. We should forgive, sure… but there’s no way on earth to force forgetting.
And without forgetting, the trust issues stay present. You wrote this some time ago… how did it end up turning out for you?
Sorry to hear about your challenging situation, Matt. I think it’s very positive that you’re willing to work it out.
Of course it would be very helpful to get to the point where you trusted your wife, but I’m not sure how that will happen without either her convincing you of her actions, or a little more investigation.
Best of luck with this.
flowerhorn08,
I think the “forgive and forget” part is so highly overrated. It does happen, but it does take a very long time for the memories of being hurt to go away.