BUT NOT BEFORE THEN.
I rationalized that L-O-V-E must be a mental disorder.
Love made me believe all the excuses as to why he didn’t come home last night. Love made sense of all the untruths. Love made me realize that I would swallow my own pride so I can keep him a day longer in my life. Love made me a gullible moron that I couldn’t think straight.
So, who made L-O-V-E complicated? Them or me? Rather than uttering these five simple words “Honey, I’m cheating on you” and be man enough to let me go so I can find my destiny, I got these …..
I’M MOVING OUT WITH A FRIEND
Right. And your roommate happens to be this gorgeous pocket venus living with you in a one bedroom apartment.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME
This gives you the right to cheat on me?
I JUST NEED A BREAK. GIVE ME TWO MONTHS
And, engaged to someone else in three.
In reflection of my younger years, I realize now that I didn’t have it too bad. Others had it worse.
Elizabeth Edwards, wife of John Edwards, was cheated on while she was fighting for her life from breast cancer. Shaqira (not the singer) was offered by her husband to get out of town to de-stress at a spa in Switzerland while he played house with his mistress and their three children. Stan brought his mistress home hoping that his wife Amy would accept her as the “second wife”. Janet left Tom after fifteen years of marriage and told everyone that she had an affair because he might be gay. Ivana Trump’s never going to be lucky in love and the media is never going to forget that her new beau cheated on her on live tv while filming “Survivor in Honduras”. A San Sebastian woman passed off her two children by her lover as “artificial insemination” and her husband had no clue for almost thirty years.
Sad things can happen to good people sometimes. Rotten cheaters just need to be disposed of before they make you delusional like this woman ….
“My husband was brave, I think, in answering all my questions, which sometimes verged on the prurient. He did not do it in the spirit of a confessional, but instead with a respect for my need to know. I believe it was precisely his lack of cowardice that contributed to the survival of the marriage … I wanted to know more than just the facts. I wanted to know all there was to know about this woman who said in her nauseating baby-doll voice (I know it was baby-doll because he let me listen to one of her infinite number of gasping messages) that she didn’t want to break up his family … I wanted to know her name, age, address, nationality, her job, her hair colour, her clothes, her vital statistics (whether or not she was thinner than me), her family circumstances, the lot. My choice … She wasn’t so beautiful and stimulating and high-powered … She may have been nearly 20 years younger than me, and thinner, but she never made him laugh like I did and every word she wrote or uttered was pretentious and humourless nonsense. ” - Claire, Diary of a Marriage, TimesOnLine
Don’t ever get past the point of no return that you begin to think that THIS is okay. BECAUSE IT ISN’T.
Confessional from the Imaginary Diva Diaries on IDCheaters.com
copyright IDCheaters.com 2008
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That’s why they said love is blind and emotional. It will draw all the logic out of your brain. Many women would still choose to ignore the signs even though they know that their partners are cheating on them. They love their partners too much to let them go!
I have to agree that the throes of passionate, desperate love is a form of mental illness, for lack of a better term.
It is truly the worst way to choose a life partner, be it husband or wife, and I prefer to think of it as a temporary condition.
It is so sad that people invest themselves based on this change in brain chemistry. It takes much more to own a marriage.
Very good article, and very true. People that cheat always have excuses for their behavior and an inability to just “come out with it.”
In many situations, people fall in love by themselves. They become obsessed with a person that is not really loving them back, and when they see they are cheating, it is a very hard thing to take.
This is a very good article, it identifies some of the odd ways that cheaters rationalise their behaviour and ways that those who are cheated on manage to excuse it.
Some women choose to be lied to, there was a song sometime ago that went ‘tell me lie’, the truth was too painful, and they preferred to be comfortable.
I think that is right, some partners choose to accept the lies. The truth can be incredibly painful, but it is not as bad as the constant doubt.
Well there’s nothing wrong with choosing to accept a lie.
What is horrible is when “well meaning” friends try to force the victim to confront their choice “for their own good”.
You are right it is their choice but they must know or at least suspect they are accepting a lie, I don’t think I could do that.
They may very well know what is going on, but they are not obligated to display this knowledge for others to see, or enjoy, as the case may be.
Sage mother, I take your point and I agree that marriage problems are not a spectator sport. I found it harder to understand your comment that there is nothing wrong with choosing to accept a lie, but having thought about it I can see that in circumstances.
Sage mother, I take your point and I agree that marriage problems are not a spectator sport. I found it harder to understand your comment that there is nothing wrong with choosing to accept a lie, but having thought about it I can see that in circumstances you are right.
SageMother, I still think that love is a good foundation for marriage. However, couples don’t talk enough about their expectations before they get married. Having common goals and needs really does make a big difference in making that *love* last.
SageMother, I think I would rather have friends that try to make me confront the truth, rather than friends that try to generalize why it is okay.
You know, there are some friends out there like that. Have you ever seen the movie “He’s just not into you”? It’s brutal how we try to keep the truth away from each other.
There are some excellent points in the article.
I think there’s also a tone that should be interpreted, because if we take it literally, when the writer refers to herself as a “gullible moron” at one point, I think that’s still a reaction that doesn’t reflect healthy self-esteem.