1) Do you have the same goals in life? Do you have the same plans to how the relationship would go?
For example, if you are career minded, but he would like you to focus more on the family after marriage, would you be able to adapt to it or come to a compromise? If you look forward to working overseas, but she hates having to deal with a long-distance relationship, do you think it would work long-term? There are many questions both of you have to ask each other. If there is a major disagreement on a certain issue and both of you hang on to the relationship hoping the other person would change his or her mind, time is lost. Even if you avoid talking about the issue, you will not be able to come to a solution. You have to share your thoughts with each other and work out your goals together if you would like to move on to the next phase of your relationship.
2) Are you both on the same “wavelength”?
Communication between partners is very crucial in a relationship. If you find yourself often misunderstood by your partner, you will find it a chore to talk to each other. It is important to feel that you are on the same “wavelength” with your partner, be it just a casual chat or serious discussion. It takes two hands to clap, and if your other half is able to connect to what you are trying to say, you will look forward to exchanging ideas and responses with each other. Sometimes, we wonder why couples are able to finish off each other’s sentences when they talk. Well, that is really a fine example of knowing each other inside out and this kind of relationship often lasts a lot longer.
3) How about your take on bread and butter issues?
Money is often one of the most common things couple fight about. Issues about who’s making the money, not making enough money, how to spend the money, etc, often crop up in a relationship. There is a Chinese saying that says “Money hurts relationships” and that is very true. If both of you are always arguing about financial issues, you are financially incompatible and these disputes create rifts in your relationship. You will not be happy even if you get married as these bread and butter problems will always be around. Unless both of you are willing to work things out early in the relationship.
4) Do you share the same interests? Or at least some of them?
Everybody is different. Do not expect your partner to like all the things that you enjoy doing, but if both of you can come to a compromise about how time can be spent, you are still considered compatible. For example, if your idea of de-stressing is to go out for shopping therapy, your partner may not like the thought of tagging along and following you around. Similarly, his idea of chilling out at home playing his video games may not excite you. But if both of you are willing to take turns to give in to each other’s activities, your relationship can still work out. To find a partner who shares exactly your same interests is rare, so we should look at the big picture and give each other the space when necessary.
5) Are you compatible in culture and religion?
The more similar you are, usually the more compatible your match will be. If you are a staunch Christian, but your partner is a devout Buddhist or Muslim, it may become too difficult later on in the relationship even if you do not see the problems arising now. If both of you are very firm in your beliefs, it is never possible to change each other’s mind, so do take a second thought about the relationship in the long-term. If you are of different races, sometimes you may meet family objections and pressure as well. But if both of you are willing to go through it together, compatibility is not determined by others, but yourselves. There are many couples who have overcome these obstacles and are much happier than those of similar culture and religion!
These are just 5 of the compatibility questions you can ask yourself. Whether you and your partner are compatible to each other depends on the similarities that bring you two together and your willingness as a couple to work out any kinks to the differences.
I wish you success in dating and love!
About the Author – Angela Tay
If you would like to find out what else you should ask each other in a relationship, dating and married couples alike, look up “1000 questions every couple should ask each other” on the Recommended For All section of http://yourloveangel.blogspot.com.
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Thanks for dropping by!
I agree with most of what is said here, I find conflict for me and my spouse in that we are both on the same wavelengths where career is concerned, but we have conflict because someone has to be at home with our child and he thinks it should be me.
We are fortunate. We both have children who are grown, and see eye to eye on a lot of things.
Those thing we don’t agree on don’t really get much attention.
Some good points, we don’t agree on some things but we are content to disagree. I think in a second marriage children/step children can be a big issue and it needs to be clearly understood that they have to be put first. We have 6 (3 each) and life with 5 teenagers and a 9 year old can be a bit challenging at times!
I do agree that lack of compatibility can be a big issue and this needs to be carefully sorted out before a permanent institution like marriage is entered into.
Do you think these compatibility tests are popular due to the tendency for people to avoid thinking about practical day to day living issues in favor of “romantic” feelings?
I think so, I remember when I was in marriage counseling I basically agreed to almost everything that I needed to because of that ‘romantic’ feeling.
I think one of the best questions one can ask themselves about a relationship is, “can I stand this person in my space on a daily basis?”
I have known men who were great as lovers and temporary devotions, but I would have never taken them into my home on a permanent basis!
Well, your tips seem to be pretty common but nowadays in this world, common sense is so uncommon. Thanks for putting those tips down here. I have shared your partner compatibility tips with my friends. After all, knowledge is only useful when it is shared!
Excellent article and advice. I think that most of us do not analyze these aspects of our relationships, and just go with our hearts. That’s a BIG mistake for future happiness.
Hi Liza.
I think it’s more of what’s traditionally expected. I remember when my girlfriend had to go back to work and her husband became responsible for looking after their 15 month old daughter, simply because he works from home.
He just found it so very hard because taking care of kids just doesn’t come naturall to him. I’m sure most men share the same sentiments.