Comments on: Why He Stays …….

By: Justontime

Justontime — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:14:49 +0000

I have a lot of respect for Hosea for trying so hard and for trying to do right by his children. However looking at his blog, I have to wonder how healhy it is for him or for his wife when he has to treat her like a child and confiscate bank cards and such like. I can’t help thinking that they may both be better off if they split up.

By: Imaginary Diva

Imaginary Diva — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:13:52 +0000

flowerhorn08, lol…. life has a funny way of changing things….. you should visit Hosea’s *ever so interesting* blog to see how he’s doing….

You can click on the link in the article.

By: kernow

kernow — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 13:59:58 +0000

I think in these circumstances most people would not stay. I admire the choice Hosea has made because he has clearly made a reasoned choice and he has made his children’s needs a top priority.

By: Imaginary Diva

Imaginary Diva — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 19:34:12 +0000

Liza, I’m not sure why anybody would stay especially if the person is a repeat offender!

But, Hosea’s figured out his own way to get even….

By: debrajean

debrajean — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:10:19 +0000

I’m not sure that if I was in the same situation as you, that I would hang in there. But, I’m not you and it’s not up to me to judge another person’s decision. What’s right for one person isn’t always right for another. You’ve chosen to stand beside your wife, right or wrong. I believe there is a lot more heartache in your future if you do stay with this woman, but I admire your devotion and committment. Good luck to you.

By: flowerhorn08

flowerhorn08 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:57:21 +0000

Do you know what I think of you? You are the most patience man in the world that I have come across.

Perhaps that is what they meant by sacrifice in love. You still can accept your wife after 5 affairs in 25 years. If that is not love, I don’t know what it is.

By: SageMother

SageMother — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:27:06 +0000

Liza, how do children find out about their parents’ sexual encounters with other adults?

Unless a point is made to teach the behavior, it shouldn’t affect the children at all, should it?

By: Have been there

Have been there — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:31:57 +0000

I sympathize w/ u, as I have been n ur same shoes I was not married 4 nearly as long, but my ex-husband & I did date 4 12yrs. b4 our 4 1/2 yr. marriage. He cheated b4 we got married, but when he finally proposed, I really wanted 2 believe he had changed. After about a yr. 1/2 of our marriage, my “instincts”-u kno. the female intuitions started kicking in. (& they haven’t failed me so far. Our marriage (or so-called!)started declining from there..The secrets he would keep..The betrayal & so on & so forth.. He was my life & my everything. We practically grew up 2gether, or at least all of my “important” yrs. of my life, I felt he had stripped or stolen from me. I didn’t have any solid-proof other than his behavior, but I really didn’t need any..My point is that I understand why u hang in there. U want so badly 4 them 2 change & love definitely plays a huge role because we didn’t even have any children..thank goodness because I did good 2 pick up my own pieces after our divorce. It’s been 3 1/2 yrs. & of course he’s remarried, has a child & is still no happier than he was. He did finally admit 2 numerous affairs. I don’t know if that would have changed anything, other than the fact of making him show me some “accountability”..maybe we could have gone 2 counseling..I dunno..He blames it on an “addiction” which I have also researched. I know u weren’t asking 4 any advice, but it sounds 2 me that whatever u & ur wife r doing-it’s not working..& sumthing has 2 change or ur going 2 b n this same “rut” 4-ever..That’s why I chose 2 leave.I could not imagine dealing w/ infidelity 4 the rest of my life. I am 2 young & it wuz literally driving me crazy! There has 2 b committment from both parties & trust me; I have had 3 yrs. 2 think about it; wonder what we could have done differently; but there are worse things than being alone.
Good luck because u are going 2 need it if something does not change

By: Liza

Liza — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:41:20 +0000

I do understand what you are saying Justontime, and I agree. but I made that point from the background of socialization, when they go out in the wider society they may have problems adjusting.

By: justontime

justontime — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:45:12 +0000

I don’t think it is fair to say something is not healthy when we are not in that situation. Their way may not work for us and we may not approve of their choices, but we are all different, if it works for them and their children, it is their business.