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I couldn’t agree more. So often parents forget about themselves when children come along. This I something I try to do.
It is very difficult to find time to still be a couple when you are exhausted by the constant demands of small children, but it is vital to remember that your partner needs you too.
I don’t know much about being a responsible husband since I am a wife. I find it very sexy when my husbands helps out around the house and then we can have time together without me being too tired.
My daughter, the day before her wedding, asked me how she and her husband could remain happy all their lives, and I gave her just this advice. She said, “That’s funny, that’s exactly what grandma said to me when I asked her the same question.”
Even if you can only fall asleep in each other’s arms, don’t neglect each other.
That sounds like a really good advice. We all know it’s a hard task, but when you look at it, after all else passes through your life including children, your spouse the one who will be there.
I worry about the “happy” concept, because it seems unreasonable.
A good working relationship seems more important to me.
It’s really nice to be happy and to feel secure about one’s relationship and how the other person feels about you. I like the ‘happy’ concept, I just wish I had it more often.
SageMother I think you are right, contentment is more enduring than happiness. But whatever word we choose, a relationship needs care, it will not thrive on neglect.
I am a firm believer of keeping “date night” even when the kids arrive. Of course I didn’t have kids, so I don’t know first hand if it’s really possible. I know a couple that they try to have a night for themselves every month, and they get the sitter to stay with their daughter.
Liza, what kind of things do you and your husband do together to keep the relationship hot?
justontime, neglecting our significant others because of work, kids, life….. just will not cut it.
We also have to remember that they need as much attention as everyone else around us.
Liza… I am so envious…. A man who putters around the house? I thought that went away along with the dinosaurs?
Ja?
Making the effort is only half the work of keeping alive a relationship… it is a hard job to make it in marriage.
Imaginary Diva wrote
justontime, neglecting our significant others because of work, kids, life….. just will not cut it.
We also have to remember that they need as much attention as everyone else around us.
….and they have to remember that once kids come along life changes for ever. If they play their part and share ALL the work and responsibility then it should be possible to still have ‘couple time’ but if they imagine that it will be ‘business as usual’ – forget it!!
mollyL, way too go! I don’t think my mother (or grandmother) told me anything so cool as that on my wedding day.
Liza, I guess it’s because we see them on a daily basis and the “honeymoon phase” is over before you know it.
Life just tends to be more than a handful….
It’s good to have a husband that understands why it is the way it is…. and that he won’t go looking for any additional emotional or sexual involvement elsewhere.
Molly’s advice about not neglecting each other is spot on. It is easier said than done, but it makes the world of difference in a relationship.
I agree with most of the responses here. It’s too easy to let “life” interfere with you and your husband’s intimate life, and that can be a BIG mistak.
I think that this is great advice. It’s very important for a couple to make time for each other because it is so easy to lose the spark among the life “stuff” that crops up.
It is important to make time for each other, but both should also be realistic, life and work are bound to get in the way, life isn’t a fairytale. It is just a case of staying close through the ups and downs.
Yes, that is an important point kernow we need to stay real and accept the realities of life, it will not always be perfect but we must make an effort to stay close.
That is good advice, it sounds obvious that life is not a fairytale, but so many people don’t think ahead about the reality of marriage after the fairytale wedding.