It didn’t take long, infidelity is really common and most of the signs of infidelity are very similar from one marriage to another. She quickly read through a check list:
* Your partner has lost interest in you * He is taking more interest in his appearance * He has started to work late * He avoids conversation * He has become very secretive * He doesn’t want to spend time with you * He is drawing more cash out of the bank
The list continued and the more she read the more she realized that she wasn’t wrong, there were obvious signs of infidelity in her relationship.
She didn’t panic she made the decision not to jump to any conclusions but to prove what she was now beginning to believe (that he was having an affair). She did some investigating and discovered how to catch a cheating spouse down to the smallest detail. She even learnt how to trace a cell phone number. One thing she was certain about was that she wasn’t going to let him get away with infidelity.
It didn’t take long, he hadn’t realized that she had her suspicions about the affair and he had become less careful. Now that she knew all the signs of infidelity she could read him like a book.
Once she discovered the truth she decided to follow her own unique line of approach and rather than confronting him, using her new found knowledge about infidelity she laid a trail that made it appear blatantly obvious that she was having an affair. Her method of teaching him a lesson was to see how he liked it!!
She watched his reaction over the next week and could see he was becoming less and less comfortable. Given that he was having an affair he could quickly see the obvious signs of infidelity in his wife’s daily routine:
* She started to diet * She went shopping and bought a whole new wardrobe * She started wearing more makeup * She said she was going out with her girlfriends several times a week * She started spending more on housekeeping but less time in the kitchen * She started leaving the room to talk on the phone
Each day she made herself look more and more guilty of infidelity until he finally cracked and confronted her. He just couldn’t bear the thought that his wife was having an affair.
For her the joke was on him and she took the opportunity to lay all the evidence on the table about his infidelity. She could tell him who he was having an affair with, when he was seeing her, what her phone number was, where she worked and where she lived.
He just couldn’t believe that she knew all about it and that she could go to such lengths to teach him a lesson but what he had learned was how he felt when he thought his wife was having an affair and therefore understood what she must have been going through since she had learnt of his infidelity.
They talked for hours, discussed what had been going wrong in their marriage and why he had cheated on her. They realized that his infidelity was a symptom and not the cause of their marriage problems and, given she had recently done so much research, she knew where to go to get help.
They knew it wasn’t going to be easy but their decision was for him to end the affair. She would learn how to forgive his infidelity and between them they would find out how to rebuild the trust, sort out their marriage problems and save their marriage.
About the Author – Terry Ross
For advice on infidelity, how to catch a cheating spouse, marriage problems or how to save your marriage visit commonmarriageproblems.marriagehealth.com
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Wow, I love this woman. She certainly has a level patient head. She truly inspires me.
That sounds such a cold and clinical way to deal with the situation, I doub’t most people would be able to be so detached about it. It is good to know that they were able to talk honestly about their marriage and that they were able to try to rebuild their relationship.
I think there are a lot of women who could enjoy using this approach. Rather than give him an opportunity to either lie again or make her the villain and the cause of the affair, she chose a path that was more rewarding, for her.
In the end, she not only taught him a lesson, but also made herself more attractive to other men.
Very healthy!
If she’d used as much care and attention towards her husband and their marriage, I think all the intrigue and drama could have been better expressed in bed with each other!
The type of energy involved in such intrigue doesn’t seem compatible with the marital bed, IMHO.
One is more vulnerable in bed than they are in other situations.
Sage I agree entirely, but I also see Molly’s point that if she had put that much attention to detail into the marriage it may have helped to keep them close in the first place.
Liza, I guess whatever motivates us to get through the hard times.
justontime, I think once the cheater is faced with consequences or with the possibility that their partner is also cheating on them, things change.
They become remorseful and almost willing to do anything to get back to the way things were. Let’s just see how long that lasts though. I think it’s just a band aid solution.
Yes, this woman is inspiring, but we must be careful (we women, that is) not to totally blame ourselves for our partner’s straying.
I’m sorry but I’m a firm believer of the saying: once a cheater, always a cheater! Once a person crosses that barrier, then they know they are capable of doing it, and the second time is easier, as it is the third one and the consecutive cheating. So, maybe this is a nice story, but I wouldn’t trust him to keep out of the affair.
I find it hard to believe that the wife’s putting the same energy into their marriage as she had in getting even, would have swayed the husband.
He probably would have kept cheating with even more confidence in his having fooled her.
If every woman in this world who found out that her husband is having an affair can resort to such a way to solve the problem, I guess there will be very few divorce cases in this world. How many women out there who think with their brains rather than their heart? Very little, I presume.
SageMother, LOL! I know way to go….. Sometimes partners have to remember not to take their other half for granted because they can do the same thing!
This woman is great. Instead of losing her head over his affair, she USED it and made the whole situation positive.