Since man and woman first made commitments to stay with just one person they have also been breaking those commitments causing pain, grief and heartache; Cheaters, affairs and infidelity have always been around. However all throughout history there has never been any definite remedy or solution to this problem. Some couples fare much better than other however with affair actually improving some marriages and some utterly destroying them. So what do you do? What solution can you apply to such a complex and highly charged issue?

To me there are only two options: Forgive or Leave. These are of course incredibly simple one word answers to problems that you may feel deserve more than that but in the end it comes don to these decisions. You have to choose to continue this relationship and make it work after an affair or you must end it and move on before it poisons your life completely.

Most people who continue with a relationship after an affair do not actually forgive the affair because they do not work to fix the problem in the relationship that caused the affair in the first place and continue with a marriage that will always live with the memory of the affair and may still contain the problems that will lead to more affairs. To truly forgive someone is to understand WHY not focus on WHEN, WHERE, HOW and WHO; the why is the only thing that really matters now. If you can understand that then you can find ways to solve those issues with your partner and move forward with your lives confident that you have an honest and strong relationship that may be better for the affair despite how painful and humiliating it was.

The other option of course is to leave. Some relationships can never work and some affair cannot be forgiven nor forgotten and you must make that decision again on the understanding of WHY the affair happened in the first place. If the issue can never be resolved then maybe it is best to end the relationship and start anew without the poison of infidelity ruining a love like a wound that will never heal.

So you must make the decision after careful deliberation, if you decide to forgive work hard at it because too many people use the affair to control the relationship or let it control them and again too many people leave a relationship because they did not want to face the hard road that is marriage recovery but end up more miserable instead! The decision is yours on how to deal with cheaters, affair and infidelity, make your choice and have the strength to follow it through!

About the Author – M Porteous
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