Wesh.com reports that after leading the police on a high speed chase trying to escape them, she accidentally crashed her vehicle on the side of a Naomi Mills’ house leaving them power less for the last two weeks. She then got out of the car and fled on foot.
Today, she is facing several charges including driving without a license and hit-and-run. “I ran from the police station and lost control of my car, so if they can understand, I didn’t mean to hit their house,” Rachel said. The damage is estimated to be in the thousands and Rachel has made a committment to try to pay back the couple.
It is a sad chain reaction of events which could have been prevented if she just walked away from a destructive relationship and accept what can not be changed. It is so easy to want vengeance for being hurt, but in the end, is it really worth it?
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I feel sorry for Rachel, her life is definitely out of control. I believe that if a man is caught cheating, it’s not the woman who should be reprimanded it’s the man because she has nothing to do with that woman. I hope she come to her senses and let him go.
Although revenge may seem very, very sweet when you’re feeling hurt and betrayed, when you set out to hurt other people you usually end up hurting yourself as well.
Wow that got way out of hand. I’m sure she felt alittle better after hitting the woman’s car with the screwdriver, but the high speed chase from the police and crashing into someone’s house made the situation much worst for her. You definitely cannot react out of anger. If she was driving without a license I wonder who’s car she had and whether or not she was on the insurance policy. Only the man you love can make you angry enough to do something stupid like that just to feel a little better for the moment. It’s never worth it though. Just move on.
I agree with Liza. It’s the man who is most at fault here. A lot of “other women” don’t even know the guy they’re seeing is married. How would you like to be confronted by an enraged stranger with blood in her eye if you had innocently went out on a date with “her” man?
When you meet someone and decide to go out on a date with them during the date you can find out if someone is single or in a relationship just by the information that they give you about their personal life. Some women don’t mind dating married men or men that are attached, they look at it as a challenge to take another woman’s man. Or maybe they just want to have alittle fun and don’t care if the guy is in a relationship or not because they aren’t looking for a relationship and an attached man can’t commit to them anyway.
A boyfriend.
Somewhere there has to be the realization that a boyfriend is not a husband, and may feel free to do as they choose.
I would love to know if these two had actually spoken about their expectations for their relationship, as boyfriend and girlfriend, with each other.
Regardless of who is at fall in the explosion, it is a mistake to assume anything regarding views on fidelity and monogamy, at any time.
I have to say that I can totally understand how jealousy can make you do crazy things. I only hope that I am a little wiser and a little older and probably wouldn’t do some of the things I’ve done in the past.
Sometimes on a date you can pick up whether or not the person you’re out with is in another relationship. But not always. I had a date swear to me that she had just broken up with her lover. I believed her–turns out I shouldn’t have. Oops!
How on earth can the man be blamed for her losing the plot, taking the police on a chase & smashing up someone’s house?! Yes, he hurt her and she has every right to be angry. I can’t blame her for wanting to take the screwdriver to the car either. But she’s an adult woman able to make choices and she blatantly took the wrong ones here.
I agree that when you go to try to get revenge you end up in the end that gets into trouble. I also agree that she made the wrong choices and now she’s the one in trouble.
I believe that even though revenge can be seen as sweet most times the avenger feels badly afterwards.
I think all these TV programmes that show cheating being ‘discovered’ are partially responsible for people going too far when taking revenge. It’s natural to want to strike out, but it’s also natural to want to curl up in a ball and hibernate. Unfortunately that doesn’t make good telly so it’s never shown.
More and more people are being influenced by what they see on TV. It is a false sense of reality though because, it doesn’t always go like it is shown on TV.
Liza, somehow this emotional cycle never really ends. She probably blames the other woman for her current predicament eventhough she is the one who made the choice to act irrationally.
You are right. We should try to learn from this as a life lesson and no matter how hard it is, the priority should always be ourselves before anyone else.
Calypso, though I do not know her personally. I have a girlfriend who is exactly like that and it’s like she lives in her own fantasy world where revenge totally consumes her.
That, and looking for him around town so she can follow him around. He finally had to move out of the province in order for him to get some sort of a life. Even with that, she is now talking of moving to where he lives! Absolutely insane.
What the TV shows don’t show you is what happens after the drama of revenge & the screaming and shouting has died down.
Green-Moo,
TV shows also show the unusual and most vivid instances of revenge. The subtle, controlled, and civilized revenge is never talked about as it isn’t nearly as sensational as someone losing their mind.
Lina M, she definitely was not thinking straight…. or there’s just something wrong with her mentally.
If you really think about it, getting caught vandalizing someone else’s car is nothing compared to running away from the police. In this case, she left a family without heat, water or lights for weeks. Not to mention the hefty bill for fixing their house. Rachel did make a promise to pay them back, but you never really know if she is going to make good on her promise.
mollyL, I have even heard of women who marry men and they are clueless that they have other families.
Just quite recently, there has been headlines about a man who killed his lover because he couldn’t afford to keep the other family and his first family. It’s just sick.
I agree that “reality” television shows the most violent, explosive confrontations. And I guess I can see how that could lower inhibitions, especially if you were already in a vulnerable state. But I still think women need to take responsibility for their own behavior. I’ve never had a partner worth going to jail over!
Absolutely women need to be responsible for their own behaviour. Men too!
Just because you are in a vulnerable state doesn’t mean that you forget all the rules of behaviour that you ever learnt.
The key is finding a path to satisfaction that is almost a surgical strike, meaning it focuses on the person who wronged you without destroying those around him, or yourself, in the process.
This requires patience. The woman who showed up on the doorstep of the other woman’s home when the husband was inside, not only discovered them together, but also exacted subtle revenge in exposing the fellow to the other woman.
Not all revenge entails massive destruction. Skilled revenge is very limited and may not be obvious to the casual onlookoer.
Lina M, it might be a real challenge to them, but it really does hurt a lot of innocent people. Mind you, these women are probably doing you a big favor by getting rid of someone who can’t commit to you anyway.
SageMother, I agree, you need to find out if your boyfriend is on the same page as you are. However, I think that even if he is not in the same page as you are and do not believe in monogamy, he also needs to tell you instead of you having to find out the hard way.
Trick-r-treat, I am so glad that I took after my mother’s personality when it comes to thinking before acting on my emotions…..
But, when it comes to my girlfriends, been there done that….. I’ve tagged along with the stalking, jumping into small bedroom windows…. you name it. And to think that any of these moments could have turned out like Rachel’s. I guess we just got lucky.
Sagemother, you sounds like an expert at this revenge business! Do you lie awake in the early hours plotting?
Calypso, I am not sure why people can’t just be honest with each other.
I’m sure maybe at that time, they were definitely broken up. Things change, and when they do, they just need to ‘fess up.
Green-Moo, I totally agree with you on that.
Sure he pissed her off, but she did the deed and she can’t blame anyone else for it.
Tater03, some people make the wrong choice and get lucky. But this one, she seems to have a lot of rage and not all there in the head.
Liza, remorse always comes too late doesn’t it?
Green-Moo, how did our society get so perversed that we enjoy watching the miseries of others?
I think it is because that it shows that someone else is having a worse time than we are and I guess that’s what makes it ok for most people.
Liza, exactly what happened to Rachel. It didn’t turn out exactly like the tv show….. I don’t really think though that the tv show is to blame because she was the one who decided to do something horrible like this.
Green-Moo, regardless of what the outcome is…. we all know that the sadness and the hurt do not go away.
Some people do prefer to cast their demons out in public and if that is the way they want to do it, then that’s how they need to deal with it.
Personally, that’s not how I would do it, but it’s not my choice for their lives.
SageMother, and reality tv isn’t the only ones that are depicting them. Even prime time tv like Gossip Girl or Desperate Housewives carry story lines like these that are aimed to scandalize everybody into watching mroe episodes.
Calypso, me either!
Green-Moo, what do they say about “two wrongs not making it right”? Rachel has to take responsibility for her actions. I’ve experienced it before that being emotional doesn’t make you think straight, but come on…. a police chase? I think there is something more happening here than we are being told.
SageMother, that is true.
Even just the fact that you are moving on with your life and going after bigger and better things, should extract a personal satisfaction.
Green-Moo, LOL! I’d also like to know!
Years ago, I took apart the car of a woman who had ’stolen’ my man. Only later did it dawn on me that she was not the one I should have been angry at. It was him who betrayed me, not her.
Green-Moo,
I don’t lie awake and plot. I just look at the world with untamed eyes.
That’s why I say, never invest too much in a relationship, especially when it’s obvious your parther is cheating.
Liza – that’s something that my parents tried to tell me when I was a teenager. I didn’t really appreciate it at the time but I think it’s terribly important that both partners have a life outside of the relationship to fall back on if it ends, for whatever reason.
It may be an outdated notion, but it’s wise to date a guy long enough to get to know him, so maybe you might suspect he is cheating on someone, and learn several other important things about him.
You mean before making a commitment Molly? The trouble is that many affairs only begin after the ‘honeymoon’ period has worn off and a couple have already made that commitment.
Liza, I think love is still a good investment…. but you just have to find the right person to make that lifetime investment.
Because if you don’t… you might end up getting a crappy return.
Green-Moo, I also think it is important to have individual lives because it adds a balance to the relationship.
But I don’t think it is healthy to start a relationship thinking that I have to have a life just in case it ends. We all hope for happy endings, it just doesn’t happen to everyone.
mollyL, sometimes you can date someone for a long time, and still not really know them. Just like time brings couples more closer, it can also change relationships and break them up.
Green-Moo, unless, of course, you are the other woman….. and there’s no honeymoon for you
It is a sad story, she was clearly feeling very hurt, but taking revenge proved more damaging to her than she could possibly have imagined. I think it is best to accept what you can’t change and walk away with your dignity intact.
“Dignity intact” doesn’t necessarily mean walking away without satisfaction reaped. There is something to be said for venting on that person who has harmed you.
If more women cultivated controlled anger, they would be emotionally healthier in the long run, IMHO.
I think some times people need to act on their rage with objects, so they wouldn’t do it against the people. I don’t know how would i react with certain situations, but I hope I would remain calm or scream but not hurt physically anything or anybody.
If we think about it before we entered a relationship, we had a life that we would speak to this person about. There was always something happening which we would relate. After being together for a while, if we no longer have those other things to talk about, we end up not talking at all. Friends outside are good.
SageMother, I agree with you, having your dignity just means that you will not degrade yourself in an attempt to get back at the cheater, but there are effective ways of voicing your thoughts.
I think it is a case of picking your moment in terms of what you say, and how you say it. I agree wit Lisa’s definition of dignity.
Sometimes less is more! It may be better not to waste your words or your energy on a cheater.
Good point Kernow, sure have your say, but don’t let it get out of hand, he really wasn’t worth it.
Someone who betrays your trust by cheating is not worth wasting your emotional energy on. Keep your dignity.
Someone who betrays you by cheating deserves contempt, of course you will be terribly hurt but turn that anger into strength and rebuild your life.
That’s a nasty story. Thankfully no one was physically hurt. It could have been much more tragic.
It must be very hard to deal with the news of being cheated on, especially if the realization comes quite suddenly.