POSTED BY JENNIFER 19 – A READER CONTRIBUTED STORY

my hubby told me 5weeks ago that he had an affair with another women 3yrs ago . the worse news is he fathered a child with her,the news completely destroyed my children and myself .we are married 20yrs and toghther 26years.we have had the perfect life we were always happy.he claims due to his family financial problems and everybody wanting him to bail them out and be everything for everybody and me becoming seriously ill made him snap he claims it was a midlife crisis.he claimed he needed to find himself that he hated himself and looked for an escape he met this women online.it took him three years to tell me because he claims he couldnt live with the guilt anymore he delayed because he couldnt bear telling me and the kids because he knew how much it would hurt us.im deeply hurt ive been trying to help me children there emotional needs come first and ive also been trying to deal with my pain.im trying to work things out because i do deeply love him and he claims to deeply love me and wants our marriage to be saved and work out. i just dont get how he could do this to me i have done everything for this man and have always been there for him and his family.i think he was weak minded and a fool to risk his whole life and marriage for a cheap piece of ass.he has anwered all my questions about the affair.he has made his life an open book to me emails and phone records as well he calls and tells me his wear abouts.he begs and crys for my forgiveness everyday .i know hes sorry and he regrets it he tells me he will never forgive himself for hurting us so deeply.i want ot beleive him but the trust and respect is gone.he told me he broke ot off with her in the 1st year of the affair after she told him she was pregant she knew nothing of his other life she beleived he was single and was gonnna make a life with her.i dont have sympathy for her.sh e was hurt to when he told her what a good loving person i was and that he had 2 kids as well ad a twenty year marriage he ended it the only contact he has is to pick up the child for visitation.what hurts also is that he bought the child over the nextday afterÂhe told us to get it out in the open i thought that was wrong and he should have given us time to adjust first we are raw with emotion.i met the child oneaster for the first time i cried i was so hurt why coulndt he have used protection ive asked him to to do dna test he says he knows the kid is his the kids and i just wanna know for sure he says he will do it but hesnot ready yet i just need to know for sure he owes us that much,he has been trying and comes home early he done all ive asked and hes been very loving and supportive he taken me out ondates ot rekindle our marriage i want things to work out i just want to know is it possible to rebuild amarriage andcan you ever regain trust and repect after  youve been betrayed so bad and how do you fit the child in our lives im trying for his sake i know the child is innocent but hes a reminder for life of his affair it will always hurt but i told him my son and daughter are having a hard time and i will not hurt or sacrifice them for his son they have toready to accept him at there own pace not when my hubby was it i wonder can  your ever trust or respect again i need advice thanks jen

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