You\’ve found the evidence, have confronted your spouse, and are now trying to figure out if the marriage can be repaired. You are wondering if you will ever love, trust or be able to get over the hurt, rage and jealousy which results from discovering your mate had an affair. You feel all alone in your grief and are wondering what comes next in this process. Well, let me walk you through the steps, and what you can expect to find down this long, dark road toward recovery.

#1 The initial shock. This is the phase where you are simply in disbelief. You cannot comprehend that your spouse was physically or emotionally intimate with someone other than yourself. You start piecing the puzzle together and realize that so much of your reality was actually a lie.

All signs are pointing to the fact that your spouse is cheating. So many critical mistakes are made during discovery and confrontation. Here are a few tips to help you avoid common mistakes one makes when confronting a cheating spouse.

#1 Never let on that you are suspicious of your spouse until you have gathered numerous pieces of evidence. If you rush in and confront them after finding one telephone number or text message, you run the risk of alerting them to your suspicions. Not only will they now stay on their toes, but they will make sure you never, ever have access to your source of information again (ie: cellphone, credit card bill, wallet, etc.) The goal is to behave normally and give them the impression that things are \”business as usual\”. It is when cheaters are in their comfort zone that they slip up and make crucial mistakes.