Ten Signs He’s Leaving
Here are ten signs that he may be seeing someone else and thinking about walking:
1. You notice that he has a new cell phone.
He leaves the room when he takes his calls. If he can’t leave the room, he doesn’t answer his phone.
2. He changes his style.
He buys new clothes, changes his hairstyle, and is more concerned about his appearance than you remember him being. He takes more time getting ready, and wears cologne, which he never used to do except when you first started dating each other.
3. His work hours have suddenly changed.
He has more weekend or over night trips and works later at the office than he used to. He keeps saying things like, “We’ve just been so busy lately at work.”
4. He has become more emotionally distant than usual.
He’s just not there and you can’t reach him. When you ask what’s going on with him he says it’s his work. He’s tired or he’s stressed or he has too much on his mind.
5. He often mopes around the house.
Before he goes out, he perks up. He has an attitude that he is misunderstood and unappreciated at home. He doesn’t want your help. He looks for a reason to leave the house. When he comes home, all he wants to do is sleep.
6. He wants a new car.
He talks about or buys a jazzier car. It could be a convertible, the color red, or a sports car. (He has not gotten a raise and he’s not the right age for a mid-life crisis.)
7. He accuses you of flirting or wanting to be with other men.
He says he thinks you are having an affair. You think he is funny or crazy.
8. He’s critical.
He criticizes the way you look or the way you do things. This is a different tone than you have ever heard before. You feel that you haven’t changed–he has.
9. He spends hours on the computer.
He stays up late but he won’t tell you what he’s doing. If you walk in the room he quickly tries to shut down the computer. He acts irritated with you that you came in to see him.
10. Sex is non-existent or mechanical.
You can’t remember when he’s paid attention to you and the two of you have not had a romantic night in ages. Furthermore, he’s not asking for intimacy. Again, he says he’s just tired.
Any one of these signs is a red flag that something is not working in your relationship, but if you answered yes to three or more, it signifies that your romance is rocky and needs immediate attention. Don’t be afraid of finding the answers. What is more important is that you not waste your time putting up with this behavior. You can either confront him and work at healing the relationship, or you can leave. Remember: you deserve to be with someone who adores you.
About the Author
Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer.
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19 Responses to “Ten Signs He’s Leaving”
October 27th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
I did not really get why number 6 is a sign of somebody wanting to leave a relationship. I think that a lot of these are signs of cheating, not usually signs of somebody getting ready to completely break something off, though I guess you could say that the two are one and the same.
November 11th, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I think number six is more of a sign of a mid life crises. I would agree that when you start to see some of these signs then something is up.
November 11th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I agree with 8. They love to try to find reasons to make it our fault that they “had” to find someone else.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Jewel, I guess you can pretty sure say that they mean the same.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Tater03, I think #6 could be rephrased as - WHEN HE WANTS TO BE FLASHY. I think that is a good tell tale sign that he is planning on changing his life.
December 16th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I guess I could see that especially if this is combined with other things changing in the relationship.
December 16th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Tater03, of course, there has to be just more than *something* that’s wrong.
When a relationship is on its last legs, usually it’s a combination of a lot of ugly things.
December 17th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I wonder if guys leave because they don’t feel they can renegotiate the relationship, especially within marriages as opposed to “live-in” situations? Divorce can be so financially devastating that renegotiating might be better, even if it’s not easier.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
SageMother, I think guys leave because they don’t know the first thing in re-negotiating anything related to relationships.
Most men are not “in-tune” with communication, so I don’t think they’ll even think of re-negotiating ….
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I would agree that a lot of men, not all, don’t really know how to put into words what they might want changed exactly in a relationship. I just feel that women find that easier to do.
December 23rd, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Tater03, what would this world be if men just knew how to communicate in their personal and intimate relationships?
December 27th, 2007 at 2:31 am
Haha, unfortunately it’s not just a man thing. There are a lot of women out there who cannot communicate either. It’s a shame, really.
February 12th, 2008 at 5:33 am
#6 in and of itself is a sign of nothing more than being human. I’ve never met a guy who didn’t want a new car. Or a girl either…..
March 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
Accer, I happen to disagree on that.
When things are the same for the last 5 years then all of a sudden, there is this big change about image something is up.
Usually when you are in a relationship for awhile, things just get to be the same everyday. Even I end up wearing clothes that I know are old and not very impressionable. I go out in public with no makeup on. If all of a sudden I start going out buying clothes and getting myself dolled up all the time, I know my husband will think that something is definitely wrong.
March 16th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Accer, I know I love little surprises too!
Just even having the dishes done when I come home after a long day’s work is such a great bonus.
April 9th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Well, my hubby loves his old Subaru too much to trade it in for any kind of car, and the only cologne he likes is Old Spice, coz his dad wore it. Sounds like I’m safe for now!:)
April 20th, 2008 at 10:49 am
mollyL, LOL!
I love men who are just so simple in taste and don’t try to live big in this world. I think that is such a hard trait to find.
April 20th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
In that case Imaginary Diva, you’d love my man LoL. Simple taste describes him just so perfectly!!
April 30th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Green-Moo, if I wasn’t married to an absolutely awesome man, I just might want to have to clone yours!