There are many men who whine and moan about what it was that they did wrong, and they almost excuse to her for making her cheat on them. It’s understandable to some degree because they are hurt and they want her back or at least want to understand. That’s one reason you’ve searched for the infidelity survival guide for men in the first place, right?
But think about it: She cheated on you. Is she really the person you’ve thought she was? Is that the person you fell in love with or does that person only exist inside your head? What I recommend is a clear cut. She’s not the person you love, she cheated on you, she misused your trust, she’s hurt you. Why on earth would you want to stay with that person. That act invalidated all the nice memories you are punishing yourself with all the time, thinking about how wonderful it was and why it can’t be that way anymore.
It hurts, no doubt about that. But kick her off a throne she doesn’t deserve. She’s a cheater and she deserves contempt if anything. You should focus your anger on yourself but on her. Now by all means don’t get violent. But stop beating yourself up and stop punishing yourself with a wrong image of her. Obviously it was fake. This is one of the main points of this infidelity survival guide for men.
Now the longer you’ve been in a relationship with that person, the more it hurts. You have more memories of her and everything you see reminds yourself of her. What I recommend is that you move on and find a trustful person. They are out there.
One way to get out of the state of needing her above everything else even after breakup is to meet other women as fast as possible. That way you’re convinced that there are more fish in the sea and that you don’t really need her, who cheated on you anyways. You can find someone better. Don’t lose yourself in all that pain and hurt. Fight for the good life that can be yours. You certainly don’t need a cheating woman for that.
After quite some time of being in a relationship you may have problems meeting other women. I’m not sure if you’re in the mood right now, but you can sign up to my newsletter that will help you meet more women so you can choose a faithful one this time. ïŠ I hope the infidelity survival guide for men was helpful.
Whatever you do, all the luck in your further life,
Kevin.
About the Author
Kevin Jackson runs a free course on seduction, dating and female attraction. To get the course, just click here: www.freeseductionnewsletter.com
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Great article.
Somehow, I have always felt that guys beta themselves up so much when they are cheated on, because they are taught that women need them at a level that is no longer realistic. When she cheats, it shatters his beliefs about many thing he was taught about maleness.
What do you think?
SageMother, to some extent I agree with you.
Women and men are predispositioned to be brought up a little bit differently as a gender. And eventhough the bad boy types are still in so much evidence around us, I think that society are teaching men to be more sensitive towards our needs.
And I think the first thing that gets shattered is trust and not any preconceived notions about maleness.
I do believe that society is changing, just today I was in a training session, and one young man said he thinks he needs to do more housework, the ladies were very impressed.
Trust is often based on the unspoken assumptions based in acculturation. The male raised to believe that a woman will not stray usually has the added support for that assumption from society.
The moment he realizes that his indoctrination into his gender role, is not universal or no longer exists, his maleness is called into question. His sense of self is ripped away.
While the woman who strays has stepped beyond this unspoken agreement, her act isn’t the only betrayal he is dealing with.
The predisposition to raise girls differently is by no means universal, and not all girls accept their roles as taught to them by their families and culture.
Thinking about the predisposition of the genders and their education, I have to agree with Sagemother. I know for some men is even unconceivable that they might get cheated on, and if it happens, their world crumbles in ways that they never thought it would.
I thought this was a very good article with lots to make me think about this from the man’s point of view.
There was lots of useful information in this article, it is good that someone is writing for men.